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kristin1214 · May 6, 2007, 04:52 PM

My boyfriend and I recently broke up about 2 weeks ago. It was out of nowhere it hurt , it felt like someone took a knife to my heart. We had been dating for a little over a year and he told me one night over the phone that he doesn't want to do it but he said we needed time apart. Just because he wants to spend time with his friends. He told me he will always love me and always be there for me.. its about a week later we've hung out but I don't get what we are, what do I do to get him back? Should I not talk to him for awhile to make him want me back and not text or call ? Please help:confused:

tawnynkids · May 6, 2007, 05:08 PM

First off don't engage in any mental dating games. They really won't get you anywhere. All you can be is yourself.

You can't make someone fall in love with you and you can't make someone want to be with you. There is no secret formula.

If he wants to be your friend and you can sincerely handle that then do it, but with no expectations. If his feelings change then they change if they don't then they don't and you will need to move on.

AW805 · May 6, 2007, 07:05 PM

I agree with everything tawnynkids said. I know how painful a new breakup can be. He was considerate and mature enough to tell you he needed to break things off. He could have easily just ignored you and not dealt with it at all. Its your turn to be mature and realize that it's over. Its time to move forward -- Be with friends and keep yourself occupied.

Jiser · May 8, 2007, 02:21 AM

Hey, accept the harsh reality of your situation and move on. Its going to be hard but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More aware of what we want in a relationship and a person.

Work on yourself and what you want from life, enjoy what life brings. Take every oppuritnity or invite which crops up. Some may be good some may be bad, but since my break up I took it as chance to do the things I always wanted and to become the person I wanted. Instead of staying in home alone on the PC Ive become more out going always up for things. Besides you only have one life!

Abide by no contact - this is so important. Ignorance is bliss and don't go near the grape vine. Perhaps in a few months i.e. 3-6 maybe longer you could try re-intiaiting contact as friends but rather you take the healthier option and wait till you see him as nothing more than the past.

Keep yourself busy, go out with friends, start a new hobby, go to concerts, read a book, go traveling, go on holiday, flirt with nice guys, meet new people. DO NOT SIT around and mope at home.

Box away all the things which remind you of your ex. When you can look at them and not feel any pangs you know your half way there.

Good luck time will heal. Keep us updated on your progress.