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sharee23 · Jun 21, 2009, 08:36 PM

Okayy , I am having a problem, me & my boyfriend has been dating for almost a year & he told me that he doesn't feel like he is in love with me anymore & I want to know is it me or is it him. I need help to figure out , how can I make the situation right again, because I know I can't make him fall in love with me but I just don't know how to have him fall in love with me like he use to. He said he doesn't want to have to fall in love with someone else because he loves me & wants to marry me & have kids one day, he said he can't see himself with no one else but me, & he wants to feel the sparks that he felt when we first met & I really don't know how to make that happen. I'm just so :confused: right now & so :( right now & I just want to cry because I love him very much & I just need some tips of how can I make this work , I can't see myself with no one else but him , he is my world & my everything, I can't lose him. I need help & fast

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 08:56 PM

Whoa! He should not be your "world and everything". That's obsession, not love.

It's natural for feelings to change a little as the relationship grows. You're no longer in the honeymoon phase so things are going to feel different. In fact, things should be more comfortable now.

You both have to work at keeping the relationship fresh. The things you did in the beginning to catch each others' attention; continue doing them. Do you still go on dates? Do you still surprise each other with small gifts that say "I was thinking about you"? Do you both put your best face forward when you go out (nice clothes, hair, etc)? Making a relationship work requires effort so that it doesn't go stale.

But also, you should both maintain your own separate identities. Do your own thing sometimes. Get together with your friends and hang out... then you have something to share with him when you see him next.

love and fear · Apr 18, 2012, 02:54 PM

I agree, you guys are getting past the honeymoon stage. If he isn't feeling the sparks, do something together every day for a month that is romantic. For example, carrying you to bed each night. At first it will be awkward, but then you guys will start to remember those feelings and memories of other activities you guys love doing together. Start small. Baby steps. Sorry if this didn't help.

Stellaw · Apr 18, 2012, 11:08 PM

Both of you should give some time for yourselves. Let him be with his fiends and go out a little bit. But at least communicate with him now and then. Ask him what he really wants and try to listen to your boyfriend. Adjustments should be made, I guess.