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    EzraScarlet's Avatar
    EzraScarlet Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 29, 2018, 04:11 PM
    Is he looking for love or for papers?
    So three weeks ago, this random guy contacted me saying that he saw me in a church forum and that he’s interested in getting to know me better. I see his profile pic on WhatsApp and think “Okay he’s not bad looking.” He says he came to the states from Liberia, been here a year and a half now via a visa. Here’s where everything gets odd. He says that he never wanted to came to America, that he wanted Canada because most of his family live there. He applied to school there twice but was denied. When he was given the Okay to come here, now he’s changing his tune. He’s looking to marry someone of good character and has “wife materials.” He’s working as an agent while planning to return to school next year to do his masters. So we went out last week Friday to a restaurant and I’ll be honest, he was shorter in person (Kevin Hart size), carried a fake designer bag, and had no jacket on. We talked about the same things we talked about on WhatsApp. Other than that, he didn’t really talk much. Long story short, it was boring. There were a few things that turned me off:
    1. When he talked about his recent trip to Texas for the first time and that “he’s in love with it and it’s good for settlement” He even asked me if I would consider relocation and I’m like SLOW.DOOOWN. I just started talking to you and you’re already planning out where we’ll live. He says it’s normal deliberation (Okay... )
    2. Christmas Day: His mom’s birthday is that day and he tells me he would appreciate if I help wish her happy birthday (I politely tell him to send my regards because I do not wish people I don’t know anything 🤷🏾♀️) Then he gives me his sibling’s number because she wants to wish me a merry Christmas. He tells me to call her because he already told her about me. I do it because I’m getting agitated. It takes 5 minutes and I’m done. Then later when everything is said and done he texted me accusing me of refusing to call her because he didn’t hear back from her. WHAT THE 🤬 IS WRONG WITH YOU. He kept on annoying me about it even when I said I called her. Then he said he wishes that this year will be the last time I will be celebrating Christmas alone. Yeah 😒
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646

    Dec 29, 2018, 04:39 PM
    Sooooo many red flags here. Cut your losses now. You owe him nothing.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert

    Dec 29, 2018, 05:58 PM
    I’d block him from everything. He’s way too controlling.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Dec 29, 2018, 06:56 PM
    While he may well just be on the level, it is obvious from personality or culture he is very controlling. And my guess he sends 100's of "saw you on a web site" out.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert

    Dec 29, 2018, 07:17 PM
    Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. If he's this controlling now, to a person he barely knows, imagine how controlling he'll be if you two actually start becoming serious about each other. Also, you said you found him boring, so why stick around?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Dec 30, 2018, 04:59 AM
    You've seen enough to know this will never work, so cut your losses, and stop investing any more time, or emotions on this fellow.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert

    Dec 30, 2018, 11:09 AM
    There are enough red flags here to let you know there is a problem here. Leave him alone.

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