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    carly125's Avatar
    carly125 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 16, 2010, 08:31 AM
    Is he hung up?
    I had a fling with one of my best friend's brothers. Things got pretty serious, though it would eventuate due to long distance (10 hours between us). So I contacted him and told him how I felt. He cut contact with me for 2 months. I was very upset, because I thought we could at least remain friends - as he's my best friends brother and things needed to stay civil. I moved on though. However, just as I moved on, he has started contacting me again. His tone is quite cold, though he is the one initiating contact, and he says immature things such as "fine then" when I text him that I'm going to sleep. It's making me feel like I've done something really wrong and I'm getting the vibe that he is hung up on me. Do you think this is the case? Because realistically, why is a man choosing to contact me when he lives 10 hours away? It should be easy for him to forget and move on. It's really messing with my head. What should I do to make this stop without putting strain on my relationship with my best friend - as they are very close.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,177, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 16, 2010, 08:40 AM

    You cut all contact with him, and let it be known you want him to leave you alone. That's what has to be done, and hope your friend understands your wishes. If she doesn't, well what can you do? I mean taking crap from an ex, and trying to please everyone, is totally unacceptable.

    He will move on when you leave him alone, and it's that simple.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,791, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 16, 2010, 10:08 AM

    You make it stop by not responding.
    He wll get the message like you did when he didn't respond to you.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,292, Reputation: 2029
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 16, 2010, 11:24 AM

    Why play along with his mind games? You were doing well in the recovery process, now you've reset much of the progress by being in contact again.

    Check out the no contact related threads in my signature.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jun 16, 2010, 11:29 AM

    Yep, it's time to cut contact completely.

    It's hard to get into any kind of a relationship with a friend's sibling. I lost one of my best friends because she went out with my brother for 2 years and then started cheating on him. She was supposed to be in my wedding. For my brother's sake she wasn't. I always recommend being very careful when dating a friend's brother/sister or avoiding it at all costs.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 16, 2010, 01:38 PM
    It sounds like he may be feeling things out to have another fling perhaps.

    You have no obligation to speak to him, particularly if he makes you uncomfortable, or you don't know what his motives are.

    You've managed to be strong enough to sever ties once, time to do it again, and stick to it this time.

    Block his number, and that should be the end of it.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jun 16, 2010, 02:39 PM

    Let it go - don't respond to him ever. It's the only way he'll stop contacting you.
    carly125's Avatar
    carly125 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:37 AM

    Thanks for the advice guys! I've since ignored his attempts at contact. Feeling very in control of the situation :)

    Thanks for the no contact threads... although no contact is a bit hard seeing as I've just found out he'll be staying at our house for two weeks very soon. Grr! But I suppose the best I can do is keep things civil and not allow anything to happen between us!

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