My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 20 months. We met at the end of high school and we were madly in love. We know everything to know about the other. After three months of going out, we felt like we were comfortable enough to give each other our virginities. After a year and a half of mad love, I did some very stupid things to hurt her. She would come to my house just to spend 30 minutes with me, and I would ignore her to do something else. She did tell me that I was hurting her, but I was too stupid to realize that over time she became more and more serious. Just 1 month ago, she met this other guy, who reminded her very much of the "old me" and she started liking him a lot, and he had her eye on her for a while. He comforted her through the pain I caused her and now. To make a longer story short, she slept with him and told him she loves him. She told me this soon after it happened and told me she felt bad, and stupid that she did it. I changed myself for her after hearing that she was in love with another man. She said she knows I've changed but she cannot get past the pain I caused her. Although she can't get past the pain, she says she doesn't love him, but loves me, she wants to be with me more than anything but she can't. She said that she knows that we will be together, but right now she can't. So right now, her and I are seeing each other, but she is seeing that guy as well. I don't know why I can't let her go and move on. I'm seeing someone else as well, and she knows. We're both outwardly okay with the other person seeing someone else, but I don't feel like its right. What is the right thing to do?
We spend a very emotional night together yesterday and she cried desperately asking me why she can't do it. I know she really loves me...

You either commit to the person you are with, or stop seeing them.
If you can't make it work with each other, then you have to stop contact which only drags out feelings.

Most relationships end. They do. Yours is 95% destined to end. The fact you had sex just makes it that much harder, but 95% of the time it ends anyway. It just does.

You can only seriously date one person at a time. You're learning how to do that. It's tough to ignore feelings for others when you have a bf/gf, but it's part of what you are supposed to be learning to do.

Whether your ignoring old feelings of attraction for an ex or new feelings of attraction for some new girl passing by, you STILL are supposed to ignore them. It's what you do.

Anything else makes you a jerk and unworthy of anyone taking you seriously in a relationship. Be worthy. Focus.

Tell her that you can't do the guessing game, you can't keep telling yourself she loves you when she's seeing someone else, you love her and you want to be with her but can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. Let her decide how to handle it from there

What a 8itch.

You're better off doing what you were. Sounds like another sleaze bag in the hole.

You both need to make a decision that you are going to be together and not see the others
Or that you are not going to be together. Seeing others is not going to deepen your relationship if you really want to work things out.

You're really complicating the situation (both of you I mean) seeing each other and other people. Crunch time really- you both need to committ to each other, and that would involve you not reverting back to old ways, and her accepting the past and move on from it.

If not, you both need to move on, and carry on with your lives, rather than hanging around waiting for the right time to be together exclusively again- this is not to say that it won't happen, but expecting and waiting for it is unhealthy.

:confused: :rolleyes: :cool:

What both of you are doing is wrong and unfair to the people you are seeing. If neither of you can be faithful to the one your with than you shouldn't be with them. They are going to end up hurt. You both need some single time to figure out who and what you want.

Really, well that's not possible as neither of you really knows yourself , let alone each other. You may have shared an intense attraction but reality, you are in much deeper than she is and she is saying what it takes to keep you close in case this new thing doesn't work, and you know that but you let her as your still hoping for a return to what was.

Dude sorry to say you are whupped, and are holding on to feelings you don't even understand and it makes you weak for anything she says.

Get your dignity and end this charade you call love and get a more realistic view of life and make a decision to stand up for yourself. Stop talking to this ex, and accept its over, and get out of this rebound relationship your in, just to salve your own ego at another's expense.

You need to be honest with yourself and get your own act together, and leave hers alone.

My Girlfriend truly Loves me but.... Not enough to renew the relationship, 'cause she is having too much fun doing her own thing!!