My girlfriend doesn't care about me?
Asked Jun 18, 2011, 03:52 AM
I was with my girlfriend for seven months in a long distance relationship. We live two hours away, and don't have the money or rides to see each other that often at all. We broke up because I told her it felt like she didn't care about me.¬†She said that she does care about me, but other times she doesn't. We decided to take a break.¬†We got back together two months after, and have been back together for two months now.
Here's are the reasons we broke up:
She told me she doesn't care and asked her why she didn't. She said that she does care, but not all the time, and she "doesn't have show it all the time" either.
She kept on telling me that when I kept on bringing up that she didn't care about me, or when I tried to talk to her about other things that I was somehow "pushing" her away by bringing things up and¬†that I am "pushing" her away when I talk to her by arguing about anything.
She also said that she finds other guys attractive, but wouldn't be with them because they wouldn't be with her when I was still with her. She even went to the extent to tell me that she had told one of my friends (which is also her friend) that she liked him while we were still together.
She's made it apparently clear that all she wants is a hassle-free relationship without having to deal with any form of compromise.
She doesn't want to change anything for me, and doesn't want me to change anything for her.
And she says that I am a **** because I keep bringing things back up.
She said that she cares by talking to me, telling me she loves me, and that she is supportive of what I do.
She says I don't give her breathing space because I keep "asking her questions" she doesn't "want to hear."
These are a few reasons I feel like she doesn't care:
She wants to do whatever she wants, anytime she wants like smoking or drinking without even taking my feelings into consideration or anybody else's for that matter.
She would choose smoking over being with me.
I told her I don't approve of her doing anything that is stupid, could get her in trouble, or could hurt her.
As an example, she and her best friend stole her best friends car for a midnight stroll without their licenses. I told her I don't approve that she did that, but I told her that she's going to do whatever she wants anyway.¬†
She said that my approval or dissaproval is like I'm trying to "parent" her.
She then told me I was parenting her and that I was going against what her mom taught her. My girlfriend claims that her mom "doesn't care if she parties or steals other peoples cars" as long as she "doesn't drink or do any major drugs."¬†My girlfriend told me: "Do i care if you approve?..... NO.... so your right i will do whatever I want. . ."
On a whim she told me that what I do approve of that she does most of the time costs her money. When the things I don't approve of her doing don't cost money.
The only think that would costs her money in our relationship would be getting gas money for a ride over.
I believe she was just bringing something up when she mentioned money.
We have only seen each other in person about seven days out of all the time we have been together.
She came to town once and didn't even tell me she was going to be in town so we could see each other.
The one time she gets to come to town in two months of us seeing each other again, she invited her best friend which she gets to see everyday. And then she left it up to her best friend if I could come be with them depending on whether her best friend would feel uncomfortable or not if I was there with them.
She said that I "signed up" for a long distance relationship, so it shouldn't matter if we don't get to see each other.
When we actually have a chance to see each other, I would expect that she would choose for her boyfriend to be there with her over one of her friends comfort for one day, a friend that she gets to see everyday.
She made it clear that her friends, family, and anybody else would take priority over seeing me any day of the year.
Am I being irrational? Or is she just being a stubborn hard-headed girlfriend who doesn't want to put any effort into a relationship?
Should I just break up?