Well, I'm talking to this girl, we met online almost a year ago. We are extremely close and we talk everyday. We would date but she lives like an hour away from me and I have not had the oppurtunity to go and see her yet. Before me she dated this guy, Josh for like a year. The problem is that he is an . She talks to him almost everyday. He lives like two states away. Because he moved. He is dating a new girl but yet he still talks to her. When they do talk he is always asking about what is going on in her life and who she is dating or wants to date. Her spring break is in about a week and she asked me if I would get mad if she saw him when he came home for spring break. I said that was fine. Beacause they are friends and I'm not about to make her not be friends with him. But she said ''well, if something happens I don't want you to be upset." so here's my problem: If he's dating a girl than why would anything happen? and everytime they talk they are fighting and she is usually crying. I know deep down she still has feelings for him and thats fine. but why do I have to be the one that picks her up everytime he pushes her down? I told her that she should just stop talking to him because of the way he treats her and because it is interfering with our relationship. SHe tells me that she is going to stop talking to him; She says" I'll talk to him tonight" and then the next day she is talking to him and arguing again. What should I do? I Love her and want a relationship with her. I don't want to just drop her because of this. It's too imature. Please help.

I would normally say that a girl can have a guy friend who is even an ex but her saying "if somethign happens dont get mad" when he is coming over makes it seem like she would give in if he asked for sex and probably is not completely over him.

How old are you both? If you can't get out to see her when she's an hour away how will this ever work out? Meeting online works great for some people but if you can't ever see her then this might not last.

Re-evaluate if she's worth it, she doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for your feelings and doesn't seem very serious about this relationship you have, I'm sure you can find someone closer to you that will respect you more.

When she said, ''well, if something happens I don't want you to be upset", you knew everything you needed to about your relationship.

You are not "together", not a couple... You're a "long distance admirer" of hers.

She's clearly okay with letting "something happen" with someone other than you. She's not committed to you.

If you love her and don't want to leave her, be prepared to share her - at least until she decides you are a couple, or she tells you to blow off altogether.

I see where you both are coming from. I failed to mention that we both are girls. She is bi and I'm a lesbian. She is a little young for me. And I know she still has feelings for him because it was herst serious boyfriend and I'm pretty much her first serious girlfriend. I really love her and I don't want to just blow her off because of this. I'm in the militar(don't as, don't tell) and I'm going to be gone a lot in the next year, but I'lll still be able to contact her and go in visit her soon, so by the time I get done traveling around she will be out of high school and we'll go from there( I don't like to plan things to far ahead and then be let down) but anyway, I don't just want to dro her.I do think she's worth it, I love her. But I'm trying to find away to tell her without being a that she need sto cut ties with the ex, Josh. How can I tell her without being a .

Hi,

Sorry to just repeat myself but no matter what the situation, how long you'll be gone or that she's bi and your lesbian etc. she shouldn't just be okay with something happening sexually with an ex if she is committed to you. Lots of couples go long times without seeing each other and "if something happens dont get mad" doesn't work.

You should tell her again that her talking with and seeing her ex makes you uncomfortable and tell her rather directly that your worried he will try something. If she brushes off this worry as silly then she doesn't really respect you enough.

She said she doesn't want to do anything but this guy is really forceful, if you know what I mean. And she wants to see him but she's worried that he'll try something.
She was crying the otheer night and said she doesn't want to do anything that would hurt me, upset me, or jepordize or relationship.

Thanks for the advice.