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    alanalov's Avatar
    alanalov Posts: 88, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Apr 11, 2007, 09:32 PM
    Fear of Rejection vs Living w/ Regrets
    A few questions for you people:

    - Do you fear rejection? Why?
    - How do you overcome your fear of rejection when it comes to dating/asking someone out?
    - Do you have regrets that you could've avoid simply by overcoming your fear of rejection?
    - If you have regrets, do you still fear rejection now?

    Share your stories if you don't mind. Thanks a lot ;)
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Apr 12, 2007, 02:01 AM
    I suppose everyone in general has a fear of rejection, but if you fear everything in life you will get nowhere, we need to takes risks at times, besides we always learn from our mistakes.

    Regrets to me are eposides from the past that come to haunt you in the present. THEY ARE NOT WORTHED.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 12, 2007, 08:29 AM
    It's natural to have a fear of rejection (especially when you are younger and inexperienced with life's realities), but nothing good comes from letting those fears control you.

    Starting in high school, I was very fearful of rejection and didn't date anyone. My fragile ego just could not accept the risk that some girl I cherished might say "no" if were to ask her out. In university, I was very much the guy that felt he wasn't "in the same league" as, or "good enough" to be with a really attractive woman. On the rare occasion I did have contact with an intimidatingly beautiful woman, I and would put her up on a pedestal and worship her.

    I regret wasting years of my life thinking this way.

    And without question - Had I overcome my fears earlier, gained self-confidence, and changed my thinking about women... my high school and college years would have been quite different.
    theprodigy06's Avatar
    theprodigy06 Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 13, 2007, 06:47 PM
    I know this is probably the worst advice to give to anybody, but I overcame my fear of rejection after being introduced to ecstacy...

    Something about it just makes me go all out.

    Anyway, after my first dose of the rush, I can keep my head up and my confidence level high even when I'm not on it.

    (PLEASE Don't RESORT TO IT)

    I'm just writing about MY experience.
    LByronn's Avatar
    LByronn Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #5

    Apr 14, 2007, 01:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by alanalov
    A few questions for you people:

    - Do you fear rejection? Why?
    - How do you overcome your fear of rejection when it comes to dating/asking someone out?
    - Do you have regrets that you could've avoid simply by overcoming your fear of rejection?
    - If you have regrets, do you still fear rejection now?

    Share your stories if you don't mind. thanks a lot ;)
    Hi, I am Byronn!
    With all due respect, I believe your ex was telling you bad things about yourself like you are not pretty etc.. . Because it sounds like you lost confidence in yourself. Then you feel like people don't like you and by acting like that people won't like you just because they feel like you are going to bring drama in the relationship.
    I would suggest that you look at yourself in a mirror and see the beautiful person that you are and everybody would like you, maybe love you! Everybody is beautiful.
    Illusion's Avatar
    Illusion Posts: 195, Reputation: 33
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    #6

    Apr 14, 2007, 05:39 PM
    When I was 13, one of my friends told this guy that I liked him. It was true. He reacted really bad and told me I was a dog. I never forgave him for that. You know why? Because it wasn't necessary. He could have said, "thanks" and left it at that. I went on and asked other guys out - some of them rejected me and some of them didn't. Now I know myself better, I know I am very independent and prefer to be single. I know that my feelings of rejection go back to my "original" rejection - when my Mom left my Dad and all the kids. I have used that sometimes because I know I have often felt like - hey, I don't even know this guy, it was only for a date - why the pain. And I'll say, aha I know why. I know someone else will like me. Rejection is all about how you feel about yourself. If you accept and like yourself, you'll do all right, you know that you'll go on. The more you work on your self-esteem - and it's a daily thing to do - the more comfortable you will feel with yourself.
    supergamerKD's Avatar
    supergamerKD Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 2, 2007, 11:22 AM
    Yeah, we all fear rejection. I am kind of in that boat right now, I fell in love with this girl, an I want to ask her to prom, than ask her out if all works out. But I think about her, tell myself I will ask, than I don't. I also think about the fear that I might lose her to someone else. But I have done this long enough, an will ask her 2-marrow. Cause if I don't I will regret I, but if I ask, all will be good!
    Chica Fish's Avatar
    Chica Fish Posts: 18, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    May 2, 2007, 01:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alanalov
    A few questions for you people:

    - Do you fear rejection? Why?
    - How do you overcome your fear of rejection when it comes to dating/asking someone out?
    - Do you have regrets that you could've avoid simply by overcoming your fear of rejection?
    - If you have regrets, do you still fear rejection now?

    Share your stories if you don't mind. thanks a lot ;)
    I am a 40 year old female, I have set my standard bar very low. I seem to attract the same type of guy, controlling, jealous , arrogant, self absorbed, selfish jerk!

    I am not kidding every guy I really like and want to be with is the most pathetic excuse for a man!
    So , my answer is you don't have to be fearful of rejection if your fishing in the same pond.
    robertsqueen's Avatar
    robertsqueen Posts: 376, Reputation: 43
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    #9

    May 2, 2007, 02:12 PM
    - Do you fear rejection? Why?
    - How do you overcome your fear of rejection when it comes to dating/asking someone out?
    - Do you have regrets that you could've avoid simply by overcoming your fear of rejection?
    - If you have regrets, do you still fear rejection now?

    No, I really don't fear rejection. I think that putting yourself and your opinoins out there is more important then rejection. I don't really have any regrets.:) Life is going to happen if you don't get yourself out there and take chances you will miss it.
    alanalov's Avatar
    alanalov Posts: 88, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    May 12, 2007, 03:01 PM
    Thanks guys
    crazyinlove's Avatar
    crazyinlove Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    May 13, 2007, 06:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Krs
    I suppose everyone in general has a fear of rejection, but if you fear everything in life you will get nowhere, we need to takes risks at times, besides we always learn from our mistakes.

    Regrets to me are eposides from the past that come to haunt you in the present. THEY ARE NOT WORTHED.
    Could I just ask a quick question? Can anyone advise me how you can take risks, if you have really strict parents that are not risk takers and would probably act differently around you if you told them you liked someone they don't like?
    Thanks guys!
    kristynn's Avatar
    kristynn Posts: 502, Reputation: 66
    Senior Member
     
    #12

    May 13, 2007, 01:34 PM
    I don't know how old are you, but if you are 20 or above 20, I'd say... ignore what your parents say.

    Although they're your parents, they must learn to accept your decisions and they must know that you haven't deciced to like that someone - it just happened (true fact!)

    I'm not saying that them being strict is bad; they simply must understand that you must grow up too, make your own decisions, learn, live your own life... w/o them being some type of bend in the road.
    klimlor's Avatar
    klimlor Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Jun 30, 2007, 11:01 PM
    I am sad but true used to rejection... I have been turned down more times that I can count... its goten to the point I don't even tell girls anymore because they will say no =/
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Jul 4, 2007, 10:52 PM
    I fear rejection like I fear getting hit by a truck, but when I was younger I didn't care I used to do whatever without caring what people said, I think people who fear rejection,just fear what others will say or think of them.
    kieranwong's Avatar
    kieranwong Posts: 38, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Feb 13, 2008, 11:41 PM
    Fear of rejection could be evolutionary ingrained into our minds. When humans were hunter-gatherers, people lived in small tribes. And when one person was rejected, word soon went round that so-and-so got rejected and then that poor soul became ostracised.

    Or another way to look at it is that rejections are simply misunderstood - all too often we assume the rejection is due to some fault of ours. It then becomes a blow to our self-esteem.

    Either way, the fear of rejection is not rational. We regret, because upon looking back at a wasted opportunity, we reason with our rational mind that it was a good chance not taken.
    Alib3's Avatar
    Alib3 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #16

    Feb 14, 2008, 04:28 AM
    There is no way to over power the fear of rjection you just have to live with it but you can tell when a girl likes you by how shy she is towards you and I contact.
    Alib3's Avatar
    Alib3 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #17

    Feb 14, 2008, 04:31 AM
    Know prob

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