Hello all, my name is Grace and I am a 37 year old single mom of 3 kids, 2 of whom just graduated from high school & the youngest will be 6 next month.
For the past year, I have been going through the dilemma of whether my ex-boyfriend really still has feelings for me and wants to get back together or is he just using me for sex whenever he and his current girl get into a fight? I am hoping you all will be able to offer some honest feedback on this big question, Does he still have feelings for me or is he just using me?
It all started in May of 2006. I met Jay at work at a time when I was an emotional basket case. You see only 3 weeks before, a guy I had been with for about 6 months &was crazy in love with, called me up one day to break up with me! I was so heartbroken I could've died! Well Jay came on like such a wonderful man who constantly complimented me &expressed how he wanted to take me out. Well I said yes, not really meaning it, just accepting his offer out of sheer despair and loneliness. About 1 month later, he moved in with me into my house where he helped me financially &emotionally. He became my best friend and lover in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile I still thought of Victor, my ex constantly, even when Jay & I were making love! I even said Victor's name which I know hurt Jay a lot. One day, I ran into Victor at a store in which we just hugged each other, next thing I knew, Jay told me one of his female friends saw Victor & I together at the store, after that things started getting bad between Jay & I. He was forever accusing me of still sleeping with Victor, which I wasn't. It got to the point where I told him to move out. We were together 9 months. Ever since our breakup last February 2007 both Jay and I have dated, but a least every month or so, Jay will call, email or text me that he really misses me &ask if he can come over & before you know it, we have sex. He will let about a month go by &he will contact me again and again asking me how me and kids are doing &again another sack session, yet each time he continues dating the woman he's with at the time. When I ask him why don't we get back together again, he says its not that easy, that he just can't break up with the girl he's currently with &he says that he's afraid I will hurt him again, he claims I never loved him, rather just took advantage of his generousity, I have to admit that was partly true at that time... now I realize a let a good man go and I really want him back. What do you think? Should I put a stop to the sex sessions, since they probably won't lead to nothing more than just that, or could he still have feelings for me and I just need to give him time to learn to trust me again. He is still always there for me whenever I call him, whether I need a few dollars or need a shoulder to cry on.

My vote is for booty call

He might still have some feelings for you, but it looks like he's only wanting sex from you and nothing more. He's showing no sign of wanting any more than that. He's with someone else now.

Actually, he's YOUR booty call. Every chance you get, you bed him with no commitment. This isn't about him, it's about you.

You're fine with this, right? This is what you want, at your age and with your kids watching your behavior, I'm sure you wouldn't be doing anything you wouldn't tell them was fine, right?

Stop worrying about his perspective. Once you get yours straight and honest and stop hedging, you'll know what to do.

You need to see the double standard here. You broke up over his jealous insecurities of you hugging another guy. Yet you are his Victor to his new relationship. You need to get tough on him and tell him that it is all or nothing, he move back with you and not see the other girl or you want no contact. Otherwise you are just the other girl and nothing will change.