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    natashap25's Avatar
    natashap25 Posts: 49, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 20, 2015, 11:38 AM
    Do guys like this?
    Im at university,met this guy on a night out,he got my number,texted me we talked and it was all right,we met at another event he didn't really speak to me much it was kind of awkward.

    Then after a week of silence I texted him and we started talking again,then he told me he was in the same building as me on campus,so I went into the lecture theatre,before the lecture started and shouted his name loudly. It was full of guys because it was engineering.

    He blushed and was so awkward after that. We spoke again later that evening,and then I saw him today and I ran. He saw me running too.I acted really childish and we haven't spoken since, I really don't know what to do.


    Would he even like me for having the guts to scream his name in a room full of guys or for running away from him when I saw him?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Oct 20, 2015, 11:53 AM
    This has to be one of the worst beginnings to what now is potentially nothing that I've ever read. Why would a guy appreciate you bellowing? What was the purpose of it? What was the purpose of you running away? Was that to show him something?

    Think before you act. You're in college now. It should be almost automatic.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 20, 2015, 12:33 PM
    No telling how he would react and could be an interesting conversation if he doesn't do as you did... holler and run. Bet his buddies ribbed him pretty good. What a head scratcher.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Oct 20, 2015, 01:14 PM
    I'd write this one off... at best they might think you are weird or unstable. Even if its not true... it will appear like that to some of the people there... maybe even him.

    Particularly in College. If it was Jr. High... it might be different. That's just one mans opinion who remembers being in College vividly.
    natashap25's Avatar
    natashap25 Posts: 49, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Oct 20, 2015, 01:40 PM
    No it was different time when I was in the lecture room and different time when I was running,they did not happen together,and he is really shy in person and I have to do all the talking that's why I avoided him

    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    This has to be one of the worst beginnings to what now is potentially nothing that I've ever read. Why would a guy appreciate you bellowing? What was the purpose of it? What was the purpose of you running away? Was that to show him something?

    Think before you act. You're in college now. It should be almost automatic.
    No it was different time when I was in the lecture room and different time when I was running,they did not happen together,and he is really shy in person and I have to do all the talking that's why I avoided him
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Oct 20, 2015, 02:41 PM
    Why would you scream his name and why would you run? Your actions made no sense. Maybe he thinks you are too strange to pursue.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Oct 20, 2015, 05:41 PM
    So these are two weird incidences not one? That may be a bit scary and confusing for a shy guy.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Oct 20, 2015, 09:08 PM
    He's shy so you shout his name out in a lecture hall in front of a group of other guys. Then, after that you saw him and ran away from him?

    You did say that you're in University, right? Because this is very childish behavior. If you hadn't mentioned University I would have thought you were around 11 or 12 years old. That's how you're acting.

    I think you're a bit too immature for a relationship right now. Too many mixed messages. Poor guy. I bet he's wondering what the heck is wrong with you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Oct 20, 2015, 11:42 PM
    This can not be university, it has to be middle school. Adult university age people do not behave like this.

    No, he most likely thinks you are a nut case and would be totally scared of you.

    No one, screams out a persons name in a large lecture hall. You walk around, and wait to see him, or he see you. Or text him and say, I am here.

    Of course you do not "run away" I would have to guess you never had a boyfriend before ?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #10

    Oct 21, 2015, 03:45 AM
    I read some posts from the past year. You do seem to have many unusual ups and downs for an 18 year old, over life, your parents, your friends, and various boys you have crushes on.
    You have been on antidepressants in the past. Are you still?
    natashap25's Avatar
    natashap25 Posts: 49, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Oct 21, 2015, 02:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I read some posts from the past year. You do seem to have many unusual ups and downs for an 18 year old, over life, your parents, your friends, and various boys you have crushes on.
    You have been on antidepressants in the past. Are you still?
    yes I am still on medication for my anxiety and depression and yes I know I do need to grow up but it is really hard for me to do it

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    This can not be university, it has to be middle school. Adult university age people do not behave like this.

    No, he most likely thinks you are a nut case and would be totally scared of you.

    No one, screams out a persons name in a large lecture hall. You walk around, and wait to see him, or he see you. Or text him and say, I am here.

    Of course you do not "run away" I would have to guess you never had a boyfriend before ?
    No I have never been in a serious relationship before and nor do I think I'm ready,I just want to have fun and date around but I always mess up

    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    He's shy so you shout his name out in a lecture hall in front of a group of other guys. Then, after that you saw him and ran away from him?

    You did say that you're in University, right? Because this is very childish behavior. If you hadn't mentioned University I would have thought you were around 11 or 12 years old. That's how you're acting.

    I think you're a bit too immature for a relationship right now. Too many mixed messages. Poor guy. I bet he's wondering what the heck is wrong with you.
    I feel hurt because everyone call me stupid,childish,immature,innocent and dumb,I don't think I'm that bad,can people just give me a break,it really affects my self-esteem

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    So these are two weird incidences not one? That may be a bit scary and confusing for a shy guy.
    I don't even care anymore
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #12

    Oct 21, 2015, 02:59 PM
    We didn't call you dumb. You are immature in how you acted towards this guy, and you must be able to see that.

    Your self-esteem shouldn't be affected by what a group of strangers say online. Remember that our advice is based only on what you posted, we don't know you personally. If you have self-esteem issues, there are things you can do to work on that. Talking to a counselor is a good suggestion, especially since you also have issues with depression.

    As for this specific encounter, look at it from his point of view. How would you feel if a guy had done to you, what you did to him? Would you want a relationship with him? If so, why? If not, why not?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #13

    Oct 21, 2015, 05:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by natashap25 View Post

    I feel hurt because everyone call me stupid, childish, immature, innocent and dumb,I don't think I'm that bad,can people just give me a break,it really affects my self-esteem
    Quote Originally Posted by natashap25 View Post
    He blushed and was so awkward after that. We spoke again later that evening,and then I saw him today and I ran. He saw me running too.I acted really childish and we haven't spoken since, I really don't know what to do.
    You called your actions 'childish' and I think it is good you recognize that wasn't the best way to handle the situation. It gives you a chance to think about better ways to act/react in the future. Put the focus on doing better next time instead of beating yourself up about the last time.

    Give yourself a break. While others may be blunt about your behavior, it is up to you to decide whether to accept the comments as constructive criticism to think about and let go or as weapons aimed at your self-esteem and giving them power to cause damage.

    We all make mistakes. Even those of us with decades of marriage behind us, make mistakes. But we learn from them. We try not to repeat them. We live and go forward having learned a new lesson.

    I think you need to think about what you are looking for in a person to date. He is shy. He seems to have issues talking to females, at least face-to-face. You seem to be looking for someone who is more outgoing or communicates more in person. He might be more outgoing once he knows you better/longer, however, chances are he will never be as open as you want him to be. If you are not okay with his personality, then walk away. Nothing is lost. You gained experience. If you think he is great guy and want to continue dating, be prepared to be the outgoing person. Don't make a big deal of running away. If he asks, be honest. Continue communicating primarily through electronic means while having fun when you do go out. Definition of casual dating, no strings or expectations.

    Or are you wanting more than casual?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #14

    Oct 24, 2015, 09:47 AM
    Although I think your action in calling him out, was childish, and likely something you regret (although you don't mention that- you do regret it right?), I also found it funny.

    You did make a point. I just hope he has a sense of humour. Had you been already dating him, and he did have a sense of humour, he too may have found it funny.

    But, you don't mention an apology for your behavior either. Are you sorry for what you did?

    Imagine the shoe on the other foot, and some guy you barely know, bellowed your name in front of a theatre of students in a lecture hall- would you crawl under your seat? I think you likely would.

    Try not to be so impulsive. Think before you act, and accept that you may talk to a lot of young men before you find one that responds favourably with similar interests for example, so that you have something to build a friendship.

    Good luck to you.
    shawn77bird's Avatar
    shawn77bird Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #15

    Oct 24, 2015, 05:25 PM
    Everyone makes mistakes,so just email him;it goes like this;
    Dear ------

    Please allow me to apologize for what I {said, did, etc…} on {day of week}. My behavior was extremely inappropriate, immature, and lacked the respect {you, deserved. It was a disruption and distracted others.
    It was embarrassing, but I learned that nobody appreciated my poor behavior. In the future, I have every intention of curbing my thoughtless actions and learn to adjust my behavior befitting the environment and situation.
    Again, I am sorry for my actions and I hope that we can put this matter behind us. I look forward to being in your company again.. If you have any thoughts in this, please feel free to share. You may contact me at your convenience at {email/phone}.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #16

    Oct 25, 2015, 03:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by shawn77bird View Post
    Everyone makes mistakes,so just email him;it goes like this;
    Dear ------

    Please allow me to apologize for what I {said, did, etc…} on {day of week}. My behavior was extremely inappropriate, immature, and lacked the respect {you, deserved. It was a disruption and distracted others.
    It was embarrassing, but I learned that nobody appreciated my poor behavior. In the future, I have every intention of curbing my thoughtless actions and learn to adjust my behavior befitting the environment and situation.
    Again, I am sorry for my actions and I hope that we can put this matter behind us. I look forward to being in your company again.. If you have any thoughts in this, please feel free to share. You may contact me at your convenience at {email/phone}.
    Great email, but sounds very much like a letter to a company looking to hire. Not very personal.

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