I thought I had found Mr. Right... I was fooled.
Long story short...
I was dating this guy for about one year and 6 months and just find out he was married.
Yes, we went out and great restaurants kissing and hugging, go away on trips, meet most of his friends... now the killer, been to his house. Called him at home and his cell no matter what time. We were even planning to buy a house together and have kids. That is what he talk about all the time... having children with me... You know that is music to a single woman in her 40's that wants to be married and have kids. Meet my family and send holidays together.

We are not kids I am 40 and he is 50... we are both very busy professional with our careers therefore we didn't see each other every day. Plus, have a 7 year old at home that is very important too me.
What made me question if he was married... is one day he stood me up.
That never happen... the first time him gave me a stupid story... he claim he got drunk and with is colleagues at work and fell asleep.

This happen again six month later... he stood me up again with a phone call. Therefore, broke it off. We had dinner because he wanted to explain what happen... I just guest it... that is was married at that time. He just put his head down and stated he was married.

This is a man I date for also 2 years and I really didn't have a clue... I fell in love with this person... I think it was so unfair that I didn't have a choice... I would never in a million years go out with a married man. Dam, I really hate him for that.

You know I wanted to kill that bastard right then and there. I got up took my handbag like a lady and walk out of the restaurant.

I was married once and yes, my husband had cheated on me... therefore I do know how the other women might be feel. I had made a promise to never date a married man.

But, I do have to say it... It so hard for me to walk away. I know time do help. I just love him so much and during the holidays it is even harder.

My foolish question... why do men play with women hearts?

Now I really understand Mrs. Harris the movie and the book.

The fact that he seemed to hide it so well for so long makes me wonder whether he's really married? Or was that just an excuse he concocted to end his relationship with you? Usually the skeleton in the closet rears its head long before 1 1/2 years. Unless there were other red flags that you're not mentioning I don't think you have the full story.

I play it over and over in my head all the time. No other red flags.
He only stood me up two times and it did not make any sense.
I have no patience when it come to non-sense.
He does not want to end the relationship. This man calls and email me daily... He want to continue this madness, telling me he will never let me go. Yes... I checked he is married.
I even confront one of his friends and they thought I knew he was married and was OK with it. He also told me James Bond was married.

s-cianci has a point. He's either a great actor, or this is the lamest excuse for a break-up, or you neglected to evaluate the red flags, or all of the above. Either way, it doesn't matter. He sounds like a 50-year-old coward who can't verbalize his emotions, and deal with his problems--the least of which is his "marriage".

To answer your question--men "play" with women's hearts because we let them. As painful as it might be, you should look back and try to remember signs that you might have missed. I suggest this only as a learning tool for future relationships, so you can learn from the past and apply it when someone decent comes along. It's so much easier to blame someone else for our unhappiness, but it does take two to tango. If he's married, he's married--and as cianci said, it would have reared its ugly head long ago. If he's not, then there's another reason... one that you should try to figure out. Take a step back, and a step up, and evaluate, thus beginning your healing process.

Hang in there.

Thank you for your advise...
Remember, He didn't break it off... I did.
Yes, this guy is good.
I was to busy with my own life... just moved from another state, a working mom with her own business. To be honest I was not looking...
I was just happy to be wine and dine. I am a very lay back person.

Lesson learn.

I think you guys are right that it could have been the stupidest excuse for a break up or... if he is married I think he is just a coward and a jerk that you can do better anyway. He's not worth your time. You definitely deserve better.

You were dating this guy for about one year and 6 months and you never went to his home? To pick up some clues... Was he living together with his wife or separately?

Put this behind you, but pay attention, because its dangerous, to go clueless for a year and a half. You can only assume you where distracted or dumb, because I can't see a man being that slick, for that long without help from you. Sorry.

Thanks for your wonderful advise... I know my material was long, but some the questions you guys ask is my long drawn out statement. For example... yes, I have been to his house... and no sign of a women... been there 3 times, and he been too my house 3 times too. NO AGAIN, HE DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH ME, I BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. I AM A VERY BUSY WOMEN, WITH A CAREER, WITH A SON AND HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS TOO. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EVEN EAT LUNCH BECAUSE I AM MAKING UP FROM LOST TIME. THERE, IT FELT GREAT TO TALK TO SOME THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER... OUR DATE WAS NO LONGER THEN 3 HOURS AT A TIME... MOST OF TIME I HAD TO TRAVEL AND HE DID TOO.

THANKS AGAIN, BUT ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS WAS IN MY LONG DRAWN OUT STATEMENT.

Thanks for your wonderful advise... I know my material was long, but some the questions you guys ask ARE IN MY long drawn out statement. For example... yes, I have been TOO his house... and no sign of a women... been there 3 times, and he been too my house 3 times too. NO AGAIN, HE DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH ME, I BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. I AM A VERY BUSY WOMEN, WITH A CAREER, WITH A SON AND HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS TOO. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EVEN EAT LUNCH BECAUSE I AM MAKING UP FROM LOST TIME. THERE, IT FELT GREAT TO TALK TO SOME THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER... OUR DATE WAS NO LONGER THEN 3 HOURS AT A TIME... MOST OF TIME I HAD TO TRAVEL AND HE DID TOO.

THANKS AGAIN, BUT ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS WAS IN MY LONG DRAWN OUT STATEMENT.