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sophsta03 · Oct 13, 2009, 02:41 PM

I did something bad in the holidays while I was camping with my boyfriend.

He wanked and cumed right and then I was half asleep and wasn't thinking properly and so I took somecum and wiped it on my vagina and so we both thought that I was pregnant and he also said before that, that he didn't want kids and I went behind his back and did that but the good thing was that I'm not pregnant and he still doesn't care.

I've tried saying sorry but he says that I say sorry to many times for him to believe me, I have tried talking to him but he won't listen and so I had to go to the counsellor and ask her to talk to him for me.

So know I'm in a picklejar and can't get out cause he's giving me 14 hours to try and fix it or he'll dump me the thing is that I don't know what to do and I have told him that the problems that people have with me I have put in a jar and everyday I take a piece of paper out and I fix it that day (for example... my smoking I have stopped. Me being clingy I have to stop that for the day and the rest of my life) and so I have no idea how to make it up to him.

Help I have gone to so many people and they all keep say the same thing... 'hes not worth it, give him space' etc.

I need more information.:(

danielnoahsmommy · Oct 13, 2009, 02:48 PM

Go on the pill or get some other birth control. He does not trust you, and I don't blame him.

sophsta03 · Oct 13, 2009, 03:11 PM

danielnoahsmommy, go on the pill or get some other birth control. He does not trust you, and I don't blame him.

>>> no you got it all wrong I need help on how to fix the problem of him not trusting me. And we didn't have sex I was just being plain stupid. Do you have anyproper ideas on how to make it up to him?

Ren6 · Oct 13, 2009, 03:26 PM

How are you supposed to fix his not trusting you in 14 hours? Is he willing to go see a counselor with you? And finally, does he complain that you're too clingy? The only reason I'm asking that last one is that I noticed it was one of your problems you put in a jar to work on.

Listen... what you did was very stupid, as you've acknowledged. He's seriously freaked out about it. However, if he is unwilling to work on this with you (in the office of a professional), then I'd say he's being a jerk. I can't fathom what you are supposed to come up with in 14 hours that will salvage your relationship. It might be a better thing to let this guy go. Hang in there, and keep us posted.

britEl · Oct 13, 2009, 03:29 PM

There is no way you can miraculously get him to trust you again in 14 hours. Trusting someone takes time. And 14 hours just simply isn't enough time to do so.

sophsta03 · Oct 13, 2009, 03:39 PM

I made a mistake everyone he's giving me 24 hours

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2009, 06:50 PM

Sorry there is no way to fix this, you can't prove trust in one day.

If you both go to couselilng perhaps in 3 or 4 months trust could start to grow again

britEl · Oct 14, 2009, 12:58 AM

Originally Posted by sophsta03

i made a mistake everyone hes giving me 24 hours

It doesn't matter, you can't just get him to trust you in one day. Trust takes time. For some people weeks, for others months, sometimes to gain trust back it may take years, it depend on the person and how willing he is to trust you again.

redhed35 · Oct 14, 2009, 02:04 AM

Just how exactly does he expect you to fix things?

There is no magic solution here.

There is no white knight going to appear with a trust parcel for you to hand to him.

Have you considered that perhaps the other people you have spoken too are right, to forget him and move on?

He is giving you an ulmatium, fix this or I go...
Well you can't fix it,and now your in a panic, is this relationship really worth this head ache?

If he was out of your life,perhaps you would find you don't have that many problems at all,since he seems to be the one with the problems with you, I would walk away.

rockie100 · Oct 14, 2009, 03:42 AM

I think he is setting you up it fail. You see he knows you can't fix whatever he wants you to fix. He just wants it to be all on you when the time is up. He eather likes to watch you in a panic, or wants to be over, and doesn't want it to be any fault of his. It's a game. A childish game. You said sorry, what else are you expected to do? Let this guy go.

jaime90 · Oct 15, 2009, 01:31 PM

If you have relationship issues, go to counseling either seperatly or together- and get on birth control if you're that worried about it. I mean, you're not pregnant. Maybe I didn't read your post correctly, but I don't really see what his problem is. Why would he not trust you? Because of what you did over holiday? I just don't get it.

justcurious55 · Oct 15, 2009, 02:31 PM

Wait, what counselor did you have to go to to have talk to him? Are you already seeing a counselor on your own? Is this a couple's counselor you've both already been seeing? When you talked to the counselor, what did she think about trying to earn trust back in 24 hours?

And how old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

jaime90 · Oct 17, 2009, 11:51 AM

justcurious55: If you're referring to me about the counseling, I go to premaritial counseling with my fiancé, and we get tools for conflict resolution, clear communcation, etc. And it's helped in our relationship. I don't go to counseling on my own, but I do sit and talk with an older woman who allows me to vent and also gives me advice, which helps me individually. And I'm 19.

fwr · Oct 17, 2009, 11:37 PM

Just don't have sex with him

justcurious55 · Oct 17, 2009, 11:42 PM

Jaime, sorry, I should have clarified. My question was directed to the OP. but I'm glad to hear that your relationship seems to be going well :)

talaniman · Oct 18, 2009, 09:46 AM

His ultimatum for you to fix your mistake without telling you what he expects you to do is unreasonable. While I think there is more to this, you would be crazy to let him make you jump through hoops to show him anything but the door.