I'm 24 yo and my girlfriend of over 4 years isn't into me anymore; we first met at school fell in love and had a wonderful first 2 years together. Both of us are our first relationship. She then continued her education and met new friends. She'd always say she was tired or busy with school to see me, I was very understanding. I have a stable good paying job and in my head I was in love with her, was going to ask her to marry me when she finnished up university. She started going out to bars and clubs 2-5/month I hated it but I knew I couldn't tel her what to do so I let her do her own thing. I was never invited "girls night out". She met this guy at work and started talking to him behind my back over Facebook and on the phone. She then dumped me, I eventually found out and I forgot about her. I also found out she started dating other guys right after I got dumped. Two months later I took her back, I'm pathetic, love is blinding. It's been about 4 months now we've been together and we've never been fighting so much.

I've read forums about how people grow up and change. Meet new friends and people at work. My girlfriend is beautiful, smart and I can't avoid guys hitting on her. I just get so mad and frustrated that I'm not her number one priority like how she used to make me feel. We both love each other, but it's so hard when we constantly fight all the time. I can't see myself without her but it feels like she's not even there sometimes. We're still together but our relationship is hanging on a string. She says I'm too needy but then when I back off she just takes the time to hang out with her friends or go out clubbing without me... which makes me mad at her when I'm with her so it's an ongoing frustration. I think I'm depressed and I feel like I gave her my all but our relationship is not the same. I'm not close to her as I used to and wish to be. I know it doesn't look good but do I just leave her or work on things? Have hope or move on? I have tried leaving her a couple of times but then she starts to cry and we just make up. Nothing changes in our relationship, when I try to talk about how I feel she gets defensive. I love her so much and I want a futur with her. I feel old and I'm getting to an age where I got to settle down. There's a lot of good things going in my life but I just feel like a loner. Anyone have any advice?

Hello,it sounds like this relationship is getting you down,what once was love has turned toxic,when you try and let go,you both end up doing the same dance and getting no where.

Its sounds like she wants her freedom but can't let you go,and you sound like you want more from her that she's not willing to give.. where to go from here.

Going by your post,you sound as if you have had enough.

Have you considered breaking up,for good?

What do you want from your life?

You want to settle down,she doesn't.

You want a steady life with a partner willing to love you and give to the relationship what you give..

Its like 70-30 here... thats very one sided.

Perhaps,posting here will give you the incentive to take back control of the situation and your life, take a step forward and learn a new dance.

Redhed35 has a good point. You need to take back your life. You say when you tried breaking up with her she would cry. Well it seems she didn't care when she broke up with you. If you want to settle down go for it. You don't need her. All she is doing is creating drama in your life that you don't need right now. Tell her that you're leaving her and if she cries that's when you walk out of the room for good. There are other girls out there, you just need to settle down on your own and find them.

You're a victim of what we call a "back-up" plan. She broke up with you, went out experimenting and kept you hanging around. It didn't work out with the other guys, so she comes back to you.

When do you think is the next time she's going to go out exploring again and leave you as the safety net?

If you want to keep letting her mess around with you, none of us are going to stop you. But if you want this situation to stop, then break up and don't look back. Move on with your life by keeping her out of your life.