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    Dating sites and complicated situations

    Asked May 1, 2008, 09:56 PM 4 Answers
    I've been in my relationship of 7 years. The last two and a half years we've been living in different states, me in AZ he in FL. Most of this time I have wanted to come but he hasn't-with the exception of two times: once last summer after I had been to fl for 3 weeks to see how it went. Long story short I left under no uncertain terms he didn't want me there. Two weeks later he wants me to come to FL. I didn't. I just didn't feel OK with it and was confussed by the recent events. And again this last December 2007 after more bs.

    A little history is needed cause I want to be fair. In 2002 I got pregnant. He insisted I not keep it. We didn't even though it wasn't what I really wanted. I also didn't want to raise another child on my own. So that the setting of what follows here. I was messing around online one day and took an online IQ test and ended up on emode, which was a dating site. I filled out the profile (had to to get the IQ results) A few days later I got an email from emode about dating. I unsubscribed then and there. 8 months later he finds out, freaks and moves out. He wanted to know what happened that day and honestly I didn't remember 8 months prior at that moment. He doesn't believe me about the IQ.

    In 2005 he moves to FL, job and family stuff, which to be fair in part that was the reason. Me not going s debatable.

    Fast forward to Spring 2006.
    A lot of was going on with my son and his family. It was affecting me very much. His ex girlfriend had lost my grandkid to cps and I could not get them cause their mom couldn't make up her mind. Anyway I talked to my honey about me fighting to get my grandson and us raising him. He didn't wanted to cause we didn't have our child.? Result was he told me chances are I would not be coming to be with him and to try to get Isaac. I thought about it and gave up the fight. I know ed up but I just was not up to fighting cps, the mom and the courts... I cry as I write this. (BTW my grandson and his sisters are not lost to CPS yet, he's not home and the battle goes on)

    Anyway again I checked out some guy on a dating site. I don't get out much and figure it's an avenue I'd consider using if I am single again. At that time it seemed being single was a real possibility. Then in October 2007 (shortly after the fl get lost trip) he wanted a "break" from the phone he now claims (we talk daily). So we took a break. In that time I checked out another dating site, he found out about the 06 and 07 dating sites. How? He's a computer guy and a snoop I guess. Anyway after he discovers that I was at a dating site he freaks and wants to know why... he feels like it is cheating. I don't necessarily agree. So we broke up and then a few days later he wants me to come to FL I couldn't I'd just been told by my job I'd been exposed to Tb (I work as a PCT in a hospital) and had to get it checked out. We agreed on me waiting now he claims otherwise and likes throwing it in my face how I didn't come. Anyway back to the dating sites... it was messed up and I shouldn't have done it but I feel like under the circumstances me going to a dating site is understandable.

    So what's your opinions? Guilty as charged or are my actions and indiscretions understandable?

    Last edited by Signs7; May 1, 2008 at 10:07 PM.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,493, Reputation: 10839
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    #2

    May 1, 2008, 10:30 PM
    So what's your opinions? Guilty as charged or are my actions and indiscretions understandable?
    I understand because, whether you admit it or not, I think this is a dead end relationship, with no future. Why you have not taken a stronger position to move in another direction is beyond me.
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    Signs7's Avatar
    Signs7 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    May 2, 2008, 02:48 PM
    What do you understand? My actions being understandable? Sorry but the punctuation of the response makes it unclear, maybe if the comma were after the because.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,493, Reputation: 10839
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    #4

    May 2, 2008, 03:22 PM
    Clearer??
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    Signs7's Avatar
    Signs7 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    May 2, 2008, 07:15 PM
    Yeah good answer
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