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liteside2 · Jan 10, 2007, 12:52 PM

I'm in a very new relationship with this guy who has a 9 year old daughter. He really never talks about her with me, and I don't really know what to ask him about her... Other than "how is your daughter doing?". After a while I think that sounds corny and I look uninterested. What should I be asking? I have never dated anyone with children before and I don't want him to think that I am not acknowledging his daughter.

BIM · Jan 10, 2007, 01:43 PM

First off I would say if you have not been dating very long maybe he doesn't want to bring his daughter into a relationship too early. Maybe he wants to get to know you before he feels comfortable bringing her into the relationship.

Secondly, does he have custody of her? Does she live with him?

I would suggest just asking him what his daughter is like, ask to see a picture, ask more specific questions rather than just how is she today.

liteside2 · Jan 10, 2007, 03:22 PM

He has custody of her... and she lives with him. At first he didn't want to introduce me to her... like you said it was just too early in the relationship. But I have already met her. The fact that he doesn't really talk about her freely with me is what makes me not sure of what kinds of questions I should be asking him in regards to her...

I just don't want to overstep my boundaries..

Fr_Chuck · Jan 10, 2007, 03:31 PM

I would say none, just let it come, date get to know him, and as your relationship grows, it should grow over time.

chuff · Jan 10, 2007, 10:53 PM

I've got to say it sounds like he's doing he great job as a father. Unless her mother is deceased, the fact that he has custody is a testament to the mother's parenting skills. Courts are never eager to hand over custody to the father. So perhaps this young girl has already had a rough life and he's doing every thing he can to protect her from getting involved or comfortable with someone who may not be there in the future. He's protecting her.

Let him go at his pace and don't start asking to many questions until he starts opening up about her.

Desertdater · Aug 5, 2007, 03:40 AM

So, how long should you typically wait before you introduce kids to who you're dating?