I am talking to this girl who I really like and want to have a relationship with. My problem is that I always seem to come on too strong, I know I do this I just don't know how to stop it, I try but it never seems to work. I either come on too strong or not strong enough. I've had girls stop talking to me because I didn't kiss them on the first date, but then I've had girls get mad at me for kissing them on the first date. I don't know whatto do.

I really like this girl and I can tellher anything and for the first time in a long time I am happy, she maks me happy and every time I hear her voice or see her face I can't help but smile. I don't want to ruin this, can someone please give me some advice. Ill take anything please.

RVest

The problem you are having sounds all to familiar to me. You might gain some insight by reading this post.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ead-66004.html

I'm going through the same situation and I can tell you that you need to back off. Some girls like pushy while others do not. Obviously you found one that doesn't like your approach. Try to occupy your time constructively (think exercise, spending time with friens and family, etc... ) and let her come to you, which is all you can do if you want to keep dating her. I know it will not be easy but you MUST back off if you want to keep dating her. No calling, texting or email. If she is interested she'll get ahold of you.

I asked her if I was coming on too strong and she said I was a little. But that she liked that I was always there. I know she likes me, so I am just going to cool it, I used to text and call her all the time and she does like that, I'm just going to stop doing it so much, back off a little. Thank you so much. If you have anything else please send me the info.

I dated a girl once just after college after wed both been through a big breakup with other people after long relationships.

She was ready to start dating, but still had baggage. Me too.

Wed been out few times and kissing and simple fooling around. I didn't push anything too much.

Then one time she said "i told my friend it was nice to be with a guy who wasnt trying to get into your pants all the time"...

My response, in this case, was probably one of the best ones I've ever had. I told her "just because im not trying to undress you every minute DOESNT mean i dont want to undress you"...

Why was that a good response? It let her know I wanted her while respecting where the relationship was. She knew I was still chasing her, even if I wasn't pawing her every minute. And I think that kept her interested in what might be next. In hindsight, I think she might have told me that to see if I really was interested in pushing the relationship more.

Now... I'm not saying you should say the same thing! I'm saying it is a little bit of a game right now. Saying something like "so is it wrong that id really like to kiss you right now" is a good way to test the water. Lets her know you are interested, but she gets to have a say. If she pushes you back, then she can't get mad at you for not trying. If she seems amicable, then you have an opportunity.

If you're stuck on kissing and when to do it, why not forget that for the moment? What about hands? Play with her fingers and see is she plays back. Touching fingers can be a big way to connect early on, its not as direct, and in my experience, can easily build up emotions toward more affection.

And its not too hard to get her fingers into yours. Compare hand sizes jokingly. Simply place your hand next to hers and graze hers. etc.

So find ways to let her know you are interested. Make her kick it around in her mind. If she's interested, she's excited about the unknown. What's it like to kiss you. What's it like to hold you. Offering up a casual comment like "you have cute lips" lets her know you notice her, and are thinking about a sensual part of her without being too forward.