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    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 16, 2011, 12:59 PM
    Can someone help me get over this?
    Okay so, me and this guy have been talking for about 9 months now. A week after we met we started dating. I know we moved pretty fast. But he was just an amazing guy.

    19 days later he broke up with me. It was because his mom said that our age difference wasn't okay, plus we were in a long distance relationship. Later that night he had sex with this girl named Jo. It randomly happened I guess.

    He told me she was like a sister to him. Like *** is that. Incest much? And plus he told me that his cousin had the hugest crush on her...

    Anyway, stupid me gave him another chance. A few weeks after we got back together. We were happy and stuff.
    We'd send pictures to one another etc etc. And a little part of me was happy, but it wasn't the same like it was before.

    From time to time he told me how random girls would push themselves on him. Like how they'd makeout with him and stuff. I kept saying that I found it funny and that I wasn't mad about it. But I lied to him. My heart broke every time he told me something like that happened.

    Then one day Jo's cousin transfers to his school and the had weight training together. She has a HUGE crush on him. Okay so, while they were working out or whatever she randomly pulled his shorts down and gave him a blowjob...

    And again, I forgave him and gave him another chance. I know I'm really dumb. But I was in love with him... I still am.

    We became so distant after a while. Yeah, I didn't say anything about it. I was used to us hardly talking since he was busy or whatever.

    Then it was our 6 month anniversary, he told me how he loved me and how I'm the only girl for him. The next day was April fool's day, the day he broke up with me for the second time. At first I thought he was joking, but then he became so serious. I was like "oh, okay then." But in the back of my mind I was like "duuude, ***. all that crap you told me last night was a lie." Then I brushed it off saying yeah we can still be friends, and all that.

    After our second breakup we became friends with benefits. Yes, I gave him another chance once again! We were no different than before, we acted the same way. He didn't know how I acted when we weren't talking. I'd cry for hours and hours at night.

    He knew how much I wanted to be his girlfriend again. I would tell him almost everyday. Then one day he told me he got me a ring. An engagement ring. So, he told me there's still a chance for us to be together again. A little part of me held onto hope. Knowing there's still that chance.

    We'd tell each other how much we loved one another. He'd say the cutest things to me and of course I believed every word.

    Then Jo & I started to talk again. She helped me through our second breakup. I thought that we'd become friends and such. We were cool again..

    Then a few weeks ago, she forced herself on him and they had sex, once again. :(

    I died, my heart dropped.

    I kept telling him how much I hated him. Then he explained it to me, and I forgave him again...

    Yeah, I'm a sucker for love. I'm soooo dumb!!

    Then we were good again.

    But then yesterday he told me that Jo's pregnant, and the baby's his. You wouldn't understand how much pain I went through last night. I couldn't sleep at all. I was up crying. I still am crying over it.

    When we were dating we'd talked about getting married and having kids. We were meant to be together. So in my mind I thought that one day we'd be mommy and daddy. You know? He doesn't understand what I'm going through. I waited for him for like 4 months now! And it was just a waste of time. I became miserable because of him.

    I don't even know what to do anymore. We're done for good now, obviously. I don't want to ruin the baby's life with me in the middle of their family. :(

    But you know, like daaaaaaamn. I was suppose to be the one having his kids NOT her!!

    Ugh, I need help. Everything reminds me of him and I keep crying.

    Well whoever reads this, I know we weren't dating when they had sex, but we were like dating but we weren't together. If that makes sense. Lol It's like an emotional relationship. I know we're complicated.

    I still love him, I always will love him. But I think it's time to let him go.
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #2

    Jun 16, 2011, 01:22 PM

    Wow, this guy is an unbelievably huge c**t. He does not deserve your tears. Yes it's time to let him go, you should have done this long ago. In future, try not to ever give your heart to someone who clearly doesn't have one. I feel very sorry for you, and also the girl who is now pregnant. If he did this to you, I doubt he would think twice about doing the same to her too. When you meet someone in future, get to know them a little while instead of throwing yourself into it so quickly. Even if they seem like the most perfect person in the world.
    Chin up and wipe away those tears, he doesn't deserve them. There will be someone out there for you who will treat you the way you deserve.
    Just out of interest, how old are you and how old is he?
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 16, 2011, 01:25 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Yeah, I know we went too fast. Thanks for helping. & I'm 15 and he's 18..
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #4

    Jun 16, 2011, 01:31 PM

    You have years ahead of you to find "the one." There's no rush at all. You will regret not living your childhood if you waste it on chasing boys and relationships. This guy should have known better and seriously doesn't deserve you. Keep reminding yourself of that. If he contacts you again, I advise you just ignore him or tell him to go away, he's a greedy and isn't to be trusted. In the mean time, keep yourself busy hanging out with true friends and family, they are the ones that will be there for you at the end of the day.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 16, 2011, 02:29 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Yeah, I know. I'm too nice. I gave him to many chances and I know it. I was just a silly girl in love, and I wasn't thinking at all. I knew that we'd never be together but I always had hope. But I know, we still talk but I'm more cautious.
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #6

    Jun 16, 2011, 02:39 PM

    You are too nice, I wouldn't have even given him the privilege of talking to me after hurting me that many times. Also, it's not helpful for healing. Be very careful not to fall for the same traps, he seems to know how to pull on your heart strings.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 16, 2011, 02:41 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Yeah, I know. I really do have to be careful. & I'm going to make sure not to fall for it again. I can't do that to his baby. I don't want to ruin his/her life with me being in the miss of their family. :/
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #8

    Jun 16, 2011, 02:49 PM

    All respect for you then :) Lets just hope he grows the hell up then if he's going to become a father eh?
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 16, 2011, 02:52 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Awwh thanks sooooo much. I know he'll be a good dad. & His future baby's momma is waaay prettier than me so yeah that hurt tooo. :/
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #10

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:04 PM

    I'm not surprised. I think maybe you have very low self esteem, and going through something like this guy has put you through won't help that any. If a person chooses to be with someone solely based on looks, then they're rather shallow they're not going to go very far. People have different tastes, and so what is pretty to one person, won't be to another. You will find someone in time that will think you are the most beautiful person in the world, and will have fallen in love with you for your personality. Like I say, plenty of time for that. Just be yourself and don't change for no one, or put yourself down.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:09 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Yeah, I do. I've always had. Don't know why. But it's whatever. I'll always love him but I'll find better.
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #12

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:26 PM

    I think that feeling about him will change in time and you will look back at it and thing what was I thinking? Maybe try counselling to help with your low self esteem? Schools/colleges usually have counselling services.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:29 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Yeah, I know. But me and him are great friends. Hopefully it doesn't change. Lol
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #14

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:33 PM

    Well good luck to you. :)
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:35 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    Thank you. I know I should stop giving him chances but he means tooo much to me.
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #16

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:39 PM

    He means that much that you would put your own feelings at risk in return for him getting his kicks? It sounds like you are a tad self destructive to be honest. You need to start putting yourself first. Like he is.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jun 16, 2011, 03:44 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    I'm sorry. I'm too nice. I always put others before me. I can't be selfish. It's not me. I'd rather be miserable and make someone happy. Than neglect someone that I care about when I put myself first. & Yeah, he's putting his kid first, not himself. That I understand.
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #18

    Jun 16, 2011, 04:05 PM

    Quit apologising, no need to at all. I know where you're coming from as I used to be like you. At some point you become a tad bitter towards the people who are taking your "all" but not returning their "all" if that makes sense. It can make you snap at some point. Try to find a balance. I'm not saying don't be nice. I'm just saying do things within reason, things that won't make you unhappy in return as that isn't a good way to be. Putting yourself first isn't neglecting others or being selfish.
    Previous to the girl getting pregnant, he was putting himself first, I hope you are right in that he is now putting his child first. For the child's sake and for the girls. The minute he begins talking to you in any other way that isn't just "friend" talk, you'll know that he is putting himself first. I hope that isn't what happens though.
    linneerr's Avatar
    linneerr Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jun 16, 2011, 09:59 PM
    Comment on clafairey's post
    I know, I'm better now. I sent him an email saying that we're done for good. And how I'm done trying to fix us and stuff. If you want to read it I can send it to you?
    clafairey's Avatar
    clafairey Posts: 153, Reputation: 46
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    #20

    Jun 17, 2011, 08:09 AM

    You should be very proud of yourself! :) You are clearly the more mature out of the two of you. And no it's OK, I'm sure you did yourself proud :) Be strong and be ready for his reply in case he tries to claw back what you had.

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