So my boyfriend always claims guys KNOW when a girl is going to be a sure thing. Or is a slut. Just by looking at her. Is this true? Because I've seen so many girls who I think look like they're easy but then he says no. Just a difference of opinion.. and I was curious to see.
There was a time, not long ago, that when a male was charged with a rape, that the character of the victim was ripped apart. How she talked, how she walked, the type of clothing she wore, how she did her hair or makeup. There was a certain 'standard' in being able to place blame on a victim, because she asked for it because of the above 'standards' of assessment.
It came about eventually that a person who has been a victim of sexual assault could not be assessed by simple markers that were not reflective of either the person, or the crime committed against them.
This extended to wives (who were not taken seriously with marital rape), any woman walking at night from a university library to her dorm (she should have known better), or any other situation where a womans' own judgment, was seen as a reason, for what she caused to happen to her. Prostitutes too are no longer subject to being seen as less than human, and deserving of being raped, simply because of their occupation.
Any man who continues to judge any woman by standards long ago put to rest for obvious reasons, needs a good swift kick. To look at a woman, and see a mark, and be able to tell who that person is by the way she looks, talks, or behaves, is the clear and solid mark of a chauvinist pig, to coin an old term.
And you, as a young girl, should know this, and also see the behaviour of this boy in your life, as being sexist, lacking in scruples, and one who has questionable motives.
To be honest. I am a man and there are some girls who you can just pick up on that are easy. I am not trying to sound bad about this. It doesn't always have to do with the way they dress. It's the way they walk, talk, act, and just all around present themselves. I know for certain just because a girl dresses easy it doesn't mean they are. But there are some that do come across to me as easy and when I look into it further it turns out they are. On the other hand I know a girl who looks like a goody good girl and she is one of the easiest women I know. I still consider her a friend. I am not knocking on people who want to have sex. It's human nature. I think that is one of the key ingredients to being able to tell if a woman is easy or not. Things such as smoking have been researched on. I don't know the percentage but it's higher than you would think girls who smoke are more promiscuous. Just the same though that doesn't mean you're easy if you smoke. I don't think all guys can do it and I don't think any guy can do it 100% but yes you can pick up on a girl who is easy being a guy. It's not really anything that can be explained either it's more of a feel of that person. I however do not go after easy women because I want something more than just an easy one night stand. I hope this helps.
Kool, I appreciate your honesty. You are certainly entitled to your point of view, and I respect that.
We all judge people to some degree, and pick up on energy. Some people I meet, I have a really negative reaction too, some I like instantly, some are so guared that any simple conversation has them screaming and running for the nearest cliff. It takes all kinds, and human nature is what it is. If we could be certain of the type of person a person is, we wouldn't have to waste so much time figuring them out in the first place.
But our OP is young, and experience and instinct has not yet developed. The boyfriend says he KNOWS when a girl is a sure thing, or a slut. He has his girlfrind, our OP, trying herself to pick out those that are a sure thing or a slut, by his criteria, and he says she is right or wrong in her identification of same. He will no doubt, as he matures, learn the hard way, that he is no better or worse in judging people, any more than anybody else.
I worked in bars when I put myself through college, and the assumption was, that I was easy, simply because I served booze, had long legs, and nice hair. I cannot count the number of times I was hit on, offered money for sex, or male patrons approaching the manager offering a cash deal for me for the weekend. So, I was judged, and I also learned that I can't judge all men, by he actions of a few idiots. There is no difference in the character of a man in a suit and tie, or a hardhat and jeans, each one is their own person. Whether they drink in a dive, or the Ritz, there are those that you think might be idiots, but who turn out to be the most honorable and interesting people you'd ever meet.
I just really find it sad that women in particular, considering the OP's question, are yet facing another generation of being looked at as 'easy' or a 'slut' or a 'sure thing', simply because of the way they look, or dress, or where they work, how they talk, etc. I would have hoped that the OP was bothered by her boyfriends remarks, instead of joining in trying to learn how to identify women by his standards.
Maturity will likely take him down a few pegs on the ladder of life.
marquee does not find this helpful: it's just too common i need more specific .
Your question or statement was not that specific. My answer may have been "too common" but there was nothing wrong with it. You asked for an opinion and you got one. You asked if boys knew and I said they might think they do but they don't.
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