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lolalulu · Oct 4, 2009, 02:58 PM

My Boyfriend of more then two years won't stop retaliating.
He is very jealous , but so am I. But not as much as he is , and I know this bothers him.
When ever I say something that refers to a male, he comes back with something to make me mad. For example I sing the song " Fire Burning " by sean kingston , and it says something like " makes the fellas want more" and he comes back with something that has to do with a girl. I work with guys but don't want them in any shape or form but he always says " were you working with your boyfreind today?" I can't mention a single guy without hearing some kind of rude your a slut comment or something about some girl.
I love him , but I just want him to stop,

DerelictHerds · Oct 4, 2009, 03:03 PM

Neither of you have trust for each other?

lolalulu · Oct 4, 2009, 03:04 PM

I do have trust for him, I get jealous but not out of hand jealous

Gemini54 · Oct 4, 2009, 04:13 PM

Sounds like you're both immature and lacking the capacity to communciate to me. He probably won't stop unless you take the initiative and change the dynamic.

It bothers you, so stop doing it. Stop retaliating, stop responding to his jibes. Ignore them, leave the room, laugh or change the subject when he starts doing it. He continues to do it because you feed it, so starve it.

It may be that you unconsciously like his jealousy because it gives you his attention. Try to find healthier ways to get his attention - go to the movies, out to dinner, talk about what is happening in the world. Shift the focus from the childish games that you play with each other to something constructive that adds value to your relationship.

It takes effort and attention to do it, but it's worth it.

I wish · Oct 5, 2009, 05:52 AM

"Getting back at one another" is a very immature attitude. How old are the two of you?

In a healthy relationship, you sit down and talk things out in a calm and respectable manner. No screaming match, no plotting and scheming to get revenge.

redhed35 · Oct 5, 2009, 05:59 AM

You could just not mention any man around him,not talk to men and avoid all other men like the plague,don't sing songs by male artists or wear blue... he'll have no reason to feel threatened then.

Or,you can talk to him and explain that his behaviour is unreasonable and putting pressure on your relationship,you both need to decide that just because you work,talk to,or look at the opposite sex,it does not mean cheating.

Work this out or it could be the beginning of the end.