I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we are currently engaged and have a one year old daughter. When we first met, he had a girlfriend whom I was unaware of. He left her to be with me, which caused a crap load of drama. Keep her in mind.. because she plays a role further down the road in my story. I'm twenty, and my boyfriend is twenty-three. He has had over twenty sex partners, and yes I find that absolutely disgusting. For the first four months of our relationship the sex was amazing, of course. I mean how could someone who has slept with so many people not know how to please a girl? One night we were having sex and he came inside me, and I freaked out. For the next week, he kept doing it inside me. I got pregnant with our daughter and he seemed happy. He said he did it because he wanted her. When I was seven weeks pregnant, he started to become really shady. Not calling me like he used to, never wanting to see me, lying about leaving his cell phone at home when he really just screened my calls. The day that I got my first ultrasound done, I sent him a picture text of it and he didn't seem very happy to see it. After fighting with him for hours to come over and see me, he finally agreed. His attitude wasn't changing so I took him home and broke up with him, and my exact words were "I'm not a piece of , i'm the mother of your unborn child and you need to learn to treat me with respect. I will not sit back and let you do as you please and think that you don't have to see or call me every now and then. I don't ask very much out of you, and you know that I love you, but i'm leaving you. The ball is in your court because I just can't live my life like this. Call me if you want to try to make this right." We were split for about a week and a half, and he wouldn't return my calls or texts. I kept asking him to come over and see me so we could talk, and he said he had to do and if he wanted to talk he would call. Out of the blue, he calls and says he wants to come over. When I pick him up, he's back to the guy that I fell in love with. Holding my hand, singing to me.. being very intimate. I've seen him everyday for a week, then on that Friday night, he blows me off. Naturally I'm pissed. I get a message from his ex-girlfriend on myspace(who has also tried to break us up MANY times before) saying that my boyfriend was with her three days after I broke up with him and they slept together. Boyyyy, I'm really pissed now. He denies it, she swears it's true. Of course I don't believe her, but he did admit they ran into each other at a bar. Fast forward to now, a few months ago he admitted to sleeping with Lisa, his ex-girlfriend. I still can't forgive him because A.) I was pregnant with his child B.) She is a sorry who tries to ruin us C.) I was at home crying my eyes out while he was in a bar, sleeping with another girl. The WORST part is that he lied to me about it for EIGHT months, and then made me out to be the bad guy for being pissed off. I also just recently found a letter from a friend of mine to him. This girl came to the hospital to see my little girl after I had her and had been around my boyfriend numerous times before I found this note. It plainly stated that she wanted him, wished I wasn't pregnant and thought that I was lying about it, how sexy he was and how she knew she was going to get her kicked for messing with him but she was convinced it was worth it. She also said that she hoped that I would break up with him, but she didn't think I would and that would suck because they couldn't have weekends like the last one. WTFFFFF! The note was dated for the day I got my ultrasound and broke up with him. He swore that nothing happened between them and that she must have put the wrong date on it. AND AFTER EVERYTHING, I still love him. I can still somehow find it in my heart to sleep with him, even though he has been unfaithful and has broken my heart many times. After all of this, he has the nerve to not sleep with me anymore. It's been weeks since we've done anything. The only kisses I get are when I'm dropping him off at work.. and it's a little peck. That's also the only time he tells me he loves me anymore. I have gone to bed crying my eyes out for the past month. I don't know what to do anymore.. I can't stand the thought of leaving because I know it would hurt me. But I think I deserve to be treated better, and my needs are important too. His only reasons for not wanting to, are that's he tired and my mouth ruins it because I about wanting sex. I'm not trying to , I just want to feel like I make him happy, and that I'm attractive. I'm not an ugly girl, at all. I'm very pretty and I've never had a guy treat me this way. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

(Please break up future long posts into paragraphs, because that would be so much easier to read.)

It might sound insane to you to even consider this, but why not live your life as if he is just a friend -- just do your own stuff (do you have a job? What do you do for fun?) and leave him out of the equation. Be nice to him but don't beg for anything or cry when he's around (not even when you're alone). This will take a lot of courage and grit to do, but he will notice and wonder what's going on. If he asks, just say you decided to give yourself some special time and consideration (but don't accuse him of not doing that).

Does this make sense to you? Do you understand what I'm saying? You are going to be an actress for a little while, and win an Academy Award!

You have endured A lot.. I think what "wondergirl" said would really help,though it won't be easy for you,because its obvious you love this guy far more than he loves you... I think I would end here,because you wouldn't like to hear the rest..
Good luck :)

This guy has slept with 20 different women god knows how many times and might has well mark that as 21 different women with your friend added on that list. The chances that he has gotten some sort of STD are pretty high if he doesn't use rubbers. And you freaked out the first time he came in you and I know you can't change the past but if you weren't ready to be pregnant you shouldn't have allowed that to happen.
Now, back to the present, you have obviously been struck by the lonely jitters. I get them too. You can't imagine life without him, because you can't imagine life alone. I say tell him to change or he can go to court to be able to see his kid. Other than that custody is in your hands and you need to make the court date. That is if you leave him for all he has done to you as I am suggesting. However if he agrees to change then its all up to you what you do.
I know that my fiancé has been with literally 4 guys and I am the 5th she has been with. She is my 1st and will hopefully be my last. But you can't really blame people for people they have been with before you, but people during the relationship is a different story. You certainly can blame them for it and they should make up for it. And right now this guy is not making up for the crap he put you through and he needs to respect you more. And like I said if he doesn't respect you more he can walk his @$$ to work, he can have visitation of his child, he can move the heck out of your life. You sound sweet and honest and you deserve better than him.

In my opinion that is

I believe your trying to force something to work that has to take time to develop. Having kids is a life changing endeavor, and if my time line is correct you became pregnant rather early in this relationship, before you even knew the guy very well.

Now your thrown together with this child connecting you, and your expecting overnight changes in him that take YEARS to happen. Slow down, and get your own act together, and let him do the same.

You have skipped the having fun just dating while you get to know each other, so you have a long way to go to before you can really work together if ever you can.

I strongly suggest you back up and arrange your own life and stop arranging his, or demanding he change to be what you want him to be, as that should have been done before having sex, not a year after a child is born.

Wonder Girl is right, you should be doing more your own thing, and less trying to control his thing, as the adjustments to raise a child together are made. You catch more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar, so try to be nice as I believe he is trying. I mean he is there, and that's more than you can say for a lot of baby daddy's

If he has had so many females, does he have other kids?

Dump him he isn't interested.