I have known a woman for about the last 10 years. She is a neighbour however we met in a sports/social environment. Over the last 2 years I have fallen in love with her. I think about her all the time and have had some hard times getting through nights, handling the situation and thinking about her; turning to alcohol at times. I am 50; she is about 42. She is pretty, fit, and great to be around.

I have told her some of my feelings but have not told her that I am in love with her. She is aware though that I have strong affection for her and it is not subsiding. There is no potential for us getting together as we are both in good marriages and have families. Also while she has indicated that she likes being with me - in a public, social way , that is all that can be expected. We did kiss recently and she physically stays close to me at times; always in public places.

I know that nothing will come of this but I feel great most of the time. It makes me feel young and dynamic and has pushed me to take better care of myself physically and my confidence level has improved.

Should I tell her that I am in love with her; also - soon I will have limited contact with her; so what steps can I take to start to move emotionally away from her?

There is a lot at stake here, partners and families. I personally wouldn't risk it. It depends on you feel about your marriage partner. Maybe this other person outside the marriage is seen as exciting. You will need to stop anything going further, or if you really do like her a lot or love her, you will need to give up everything else. Plus, you don't know how she actually feels, and it really is messy as she has a partner too. I would try to steer clear, but if you are already involved this is difficult. Too many people will end up hurt here, including you.

You really need to look at the whole picture here. You are at an age that you have gotten quite complacent. At 50 most men have a carear, a family and are beginning to get that middle age look and feel. A woman pays extra attention to you and you start feeling those juices you did when you were a young man. It makes you feel young again, alive and you feel as though you want to flex those muslces again, show off a little. When she comes near you get little goosebumps and think you are in love. Women often have those same feelings at age 35 to 50. Many marriages break up during these periods of life. My mother called it the "funny age".
The reality of the situation is, it is probably no more than an infatuation and the feeling young and alive again. Stop, think of never being with you wife, your children (if any) are not going to like you much for this. Barbecues, holidays are not going to be family events anymore. All outside relations with family will be strained for quite a while and maybe forever. Do not confuse lust with love. You have gotten bored with your wife, she is probably just as bored with you. Do and say little romantic things to your wife, buy her a new nightie, remember what you loved about her. Take her on a date and be romantic, it may spark something in both of you. I have seen many men and women leave their spouses for another and within 2 years divorced again because they do not have a bond and really do not know each other or like one another beyond the superficial. One has to date and be with another a lot, not neighbors, stealing away a few moments to really get to know each other. I would imagine most of your feelings are coming from an illusion of what you think you feel and the illusion of what could be if you were with this woman. An illusion is very different from reality. Ask some of your male friends if they have ever felt this way. Even some female friends.
I have had male friends through the years tell me they care about me other than friends, believe me it put a strain on our friendship and most I do not have any contact with. Once you cross a certain line, it is hard to go back to a fun friendly relationship. I too am married. This advice has saved many marriages along with mine.

As a married woman... I've had guy friends profess "love" to me before. It's usually a situation where we hang out and have fun, but don't see each other aside from that time. This means that the person professing has never seen me at my worst--losing my temper, feeling sick, having PMS, whatever. I usually try to explain that while I enjoy their company, and may have fond feelings for them, I am in love with my husband.

If the person can not get past that... I just slowly sever contact with them. I don't want them getting any ideas that if they try hard enough, they can win my heart. That just isn't going to happen.

It makes me sad, because I usually lose a friend. But frankly... I'd rather lose a friend than my marriage or my self-respect.

I would personally limit contact, if you are married, get counseling for you and your wife. If you are not married, private counseling to get around, over and though these feelings.

I'm 53 years old and been married for more than 30 years. I know how it feels to get attention from females other than your wife and it feels great. If you can't enjoy the attention and take it home you have a problem you need to address. If your home is boring you enough that you would cross that line from fantasy, which is okay to reality, and make moves on some one, there is a problem in your life you need to address. We always have feelings for others, but every female is off limits to us married men, its as simple as that. You should be mature enough to deal with and enjoy the feelings and not cross the line between reality and fantasy. If not, stay away from those that make you feel that you must put your whole life that you have worked hard for in jeopardy. Quit acting like a young kid who knows no better!

"I am in love with a married woman" No, you're not in love, you're infatuated, and you're old enough to know better. If you'll spend the next month putting as much energy and thought and attention into your relationship with your wife as you've been putting into this fantasy, I predict your marriage will have a new awakening. But then, that might not be as exciting as ruining two marriages, alienating two families, and starting the great Heartache Train rolling down that long incline. Your call, I guess.