Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Theadamsfaction's Avatar
    Theadamsfaction Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 10, 2007, 07:46 PM
    Age Difference
    I recently have been talking to a girl I work with a lot she's 16 (will b 17 in a few months) I just turned 22. Im friends with every one I work with and just started that way with her till she broke up with her b/f and he went crazy saying he was going to kill her and stuff and harassing her so I steped in and defended her keeping him away from our work and staying there late at night making sure he didn't follow her home or anything. Well along with all this I kind of started liking her and everything and got really close through all these tough times. Is this too much of an age difference at this time or should I stay with her. Do this make me look like I'm just wanting sex dating someone that much younger? Cause that's what I hear but its not the case I'm still a virgin and waiting till I get married for that what should I do give me your opinions .
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 10, 2007, 07:50 PM
    To me, age is only a number. If you like her I say go for it.

    I am comfortable with the fact that she is 16 and you are 22 because you say you have no intentions on having sex with her, unless you marry her of course.

    Just because you like someone does not mean you are looking for sex, and it won't look bad unless you put those kind of moves on her.

    Like I said, if you like her, go for it, but be prepared. Her parents may have an issue with her dating someone so much older. And also, if you DO have sex with her, its illegal and comes with consequences if someone decides to tell on you (like her parents).
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Jul 10, 2007, 08:05 PM
    Well I personally don't agree with you nauticalstar... she is only 16 probably in the 11th grade... I don't agree... I think you are way to old... I fell age is nothing but a number when y9ou hit 18 which is legal not 16... sorry that's my opinion
    Lolitah_xx's Avatar
    Lolitah_xx Posts: 104, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jul 10, 2007, 08:07 PM
    It may seem that way to people because they may not know your intentions and plus she is still a minor so maybe you guys should just be friends for a while till she is 18 and then let friendship develop into a relationship
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jul 10, 2007, 08:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta
    well i personally dont agree with you nauticalstar...she is only 16 prolly in the 11th grade... i dont agree... i think you are way to old.... i fell age is nothing but a number when y9ou hit 18 which is legal not 16.... sorry thats my opinion
    I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.
    modular01's Avatar
    modular01 Posts: 129, Reputation: 36
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:14 PM
    Ask yourself what you want to become of this relationship. At her age she is almost ready to go away to college, people change a lot and it's a huge growing process. I'm not one to say that you shouldn't go for it. Age is just a number... my wife is 34 and I just turned 27. But I would seriously think about this, weighing the good and bad out
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.
    Exactly.

    Conversely, there are plenty of girls who are well into their 20s and have no goddamn clue how to be in a real relationship.

    Age really is just a number; the person's maturity is what really matters.

    That said, you should know (and probably already know) that you are going to get A LOT of flak from virtually everyone you know if you start a relationship with this girl (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.; other cultures aren't nearly this judgmental in this regard and even consider 16-year-old girls full adults). Her parents are going to be especially against this, even if you can prove, incontrovertibly, that you are not just looking for sex... which I really don't know how you can do.

    Whatever you decide (and do so carefully), good luck!
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.


    Ok you were 14 dating a 18 year old?? How i don't want to be rude or anyting but really how does tha sound?? Why is an 18 year old looking for a 14 year old anywayz?? I don't think kmaturity has anything to do wsith it... at 14 you should be play9ing house or barbies not running around with an 18 year old... he is done with school or about to be done with school and your still in the what eight grade?? Not only that he is legal your not... not don't get me wrong... i feel age is nothing but a number but really where do we draw the line? Im 21 myboyfriend is 29 but we are extremely legal... i was 18/ and he was 27 when he met... i think that is fine... im out of school hes out of school... but 14 and 18?? 16 and 22?? Now if their wasn't a big deal about the ages then why is it if your 18 or 22 and you have sex with a 14 or 16 year old you can go to jail for rape?? Not saying his intentions is sleeping with her but hmm... now really... maybe you don't see anything wrong with it but i clearly do and i personally think the 14 and 18 year old thing is truly disgusting... that's my opinion... but you know what's right... so go for it...
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #9

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:51 PM
    Exactly.

    Conversely, there are plenty of girls who are well into their 20s and have no goddamn clue how to be in a real relationship.

    Age really is just a number; the person's maturity is what really matters.

    That said, you should know (and probably already know) that you are going to get A LOT of flak from virtually everyone you know if you start a relationship with this girl (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.; other cultures aren't nearly this judgmental in this regard and even consider 16-year-old girls full adults). Her parents are going to be especially against this, even if you can prove, incontrovertibly, that you are not just looking for sex... which I really don't know how you can do.

    Whatever you decide (and do so carefully), good luck!


    WHEN YOUR 14 YOU Shouldn't EVEN BE TTHINKING ABOUT BOYS... MATURE OR NOT... HOW AREYOU MATURE AT 14?? YOUR NOT... BUT THEN THE GUY AT 18 Isn't MATURE EITHER... SO WHEN YOU SAY MATURE MAYBE YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE MATURE THEN HIM... AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP... WOW... I DONTKNOW... I JUST DISAGREE...
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:53 PM
    Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.



    AGE DOES NOT MATTER?? WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD?? YOUR GOING TO TELL YOUR 14 YEAR OLD LIKE OH That's OK THAT HES 18 AND Out of SCHOOL AND YOUR FOURTEENAND YOU STILL HAVE A BEDTIME?? Don't THINK SO... NOT MY CHILD...
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta
    OK YOU WERE 14 DATING A 18 YEAR OLD??? HOW I DONT WANT TO BE RUDE OR ANYTING BUT REALLY HOW DOES THA SOUND??? WHY IS AN 18 YEAR OLD LOOKING FOR A 14 YEAR OLD ANYWAYZ??? I DONT THINK KMATURITY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WSITH IT... AT 14 YOU SHOULD BE PLAY9ING HOUSE OR BARBIES NOT RUNNING AROUND WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD... HE IS DONE WITH SCHOOL OR ABOUT TO BE DONE WITH SCHOOL AND YOUR STILL IN THE WHAT EIGHT GRADE??? NOT ONLY THAT HE IS LEGAL YOUR NOT... NOT DONT GET ME WRONG... I FEEL AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER BUT REALLY WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?? IM 21 MYBOYFRIEND IS 29 BUT WE ARE EXTREMELY LEGAL... I WAS 18/ AND HE WAS 27 WHEN HE MET... I THINK THAT IS FINE... IM OUTTA SCHOOL HES OUTTA SCHOOL... BUT 14 AND 18??? 16 AND 22??? NOW IF THEIR WASNT A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE AGES THEN WHY IS IT IF YOUR 18 OR 22 AND YOU HAVE SEX WITH A 14 OR 16 YEAR OLD YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR RAPE??? NOT SAYING HIS INTENTIONS IS SLEEPING WITH HER BUT HMM... NOW REALLY... MAYBE YALL DONT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT BUT I CLEARLY DO AND I PERSONALLY THINK THE 14 AND 18 YEAR OLD THING IS TRULY DISGUSTING... THATS MY OPINION... BUT YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT... SO GO FOR IT...
    First off, you don't need to be coming at me like that. Second of all, maturity has a lot to do with it. He was as mature as his age, 18, and I was also as mature as an 18 year old, even when I was 14. And by the way, he was a senior, I was a freshman, not in eighth grade thank you. I was a year ahead of everyone my age. You may think that me being with an 18 year old when I was 14 is disgusting, but think about the fact that your boyfriend or whatever is 9 years older. When he was 18, you were 9, that is disgusting too, even though you weren't dating at the time. If you care about age THAT much, you are ignorant.
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta
    AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP
    Hahahaha... :D

    Well, I would admit that 90% of girls under 16 are immature. But kids these days are growing up a lot faster.

    Plus, there are a lot of societies that consider kids as young as 15 to be full-blown adults. In Mexico, girls are considered women at 16 and, since a lot of them are put in positions where they have to take on several of their mothers' responsibilities, really do mature a lot faster than American women. At least, that's been my experience...
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta



    AGE DOES NOT MATTER??? WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD??? YOUR GOING TO TELL YOUR 14 YEAR OLD LIKE OH THATS OK THAT HES 18 AND OUTTA SCHOOL AND YOUR FOURTEENAND YOU STILL HAVE A BEDTIME??? DONT THINK SO..... NOT MY CHILD...
    I would tell my child to go for whatever they thought they could handle. No, age does not matter. And like I said, he wasn't out of school. And by the way, I never had a bedtime, or a curfew. I could handle myself and take care of myself and my mother could see that, therefore she didn't need to set these boundaries for me.
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #14

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta


    WHEN YOUR 14 YOU SHOULDNT EVEN BE TTHINKING ABOUT BOYS... MATURE OR NOT... HOW AREYOU MATURE AT 14??? YOUR NOT... BUT THEN THE GUY AT 18 ISNT MATURE EITHER... SO WHEN YOU SAY MATURE MAYBE YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE MATURE THEN HIM... AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP.... WOW.... I DONTKNOW... I JUST DISAGREE...
    Don't tell me I wasn't mature at 14, you don't even know me. You can disagree all you want, everyone has their own opinion.
    sarah1989's Avatar
    sarah1989 Posts: 154, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:26 PM
    Well Shaunta Look At It This Way 14 - 18 Only 4 Years Apart Right!
    And 18 - 22 Another 4 Years!
    You And Your Boy Friend Are What 9 Years Apart I Don't Think You Can Say Much About The Age Difference Here Do You!!
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #16

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:30 PM
    You Know What? I Have A Better Idea..

    He Should Go And Ask His Local Law Enforcement Officials And See If They Agree...
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #17

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta
    You Know What?? I Have A Better Idea..

    He Should Go And Ask His Local Law Enforcement Officials And See If They Agree....
    Law enforcement would only be applied if they were having sex, which he CLEARLY said he did not intend to have sex with ANYONE until he was married.
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
    Full Member
     
    #18

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sarah1989
    Well Shaunta Look At It This Way 14 - 18 Only 4 Years Apart Right!!
    And 18 - 22 Another 4 Years!!
    You And Your Boy Friend Are What 9 Years Apart I Dont Think You Can Say Much About The Age Difference Here Do You!!!

    Actually i could say something... when i met my boyfriend i was 18... which means i was out of school... i did not have a bedtime... so you can't comare me to them... we are totally legal.. if we have sex he wouldn't go to jail for rape...
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
    Ultra Member
     
    #19

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunta
    ACTUALLY I COULD SAY SOMETHING... WHEN I MET MY BOYFRIEND I WAS 18... WHICH MEANS I WAS OUTTA SCHOOL... I DID NOT HAVE A BEDTIME... SO YOU can't COMARE ME TO THEM.... WE ARE TOTALLY LEGAL.. IF WE HAVE SEX HE WOULDNT GO TO JAIL FOR RAPE....
    Why are you automatically assuming everyone is going to have sex? He said he wasn't going to have sex, for the third time.
    sarah1989's Avatar
    sarah1989 Posts: 154, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #20

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:34 PM
    It still doesn't matter it's a 9 year difference. The others are only 4 years!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Age Difference [ 35 Answers ]

I'm 20 years old and I have been speaking to this girl who I recently found out was 16. We like each other, do you think its wrong getting into a relationship with her? Is the age gap too big?

Age difference [ 15 Answers ]

I am a 17 year old girl and I will be a senior in High School. I am dating a 20 year old college student. Do you think that he is too old for me to date? I just need some opinions.

Age difference [ 4 Answers ]

I'm 16 until July then I turn 17, but my girlfreind is 14 and in December she turns 15... does that sound wrong, we aren't having sex or anything!

Age difference [ 14 Answers ]

Is it possible for a relationship between a 21 yr old female and 27 man work out with such a age gap.? Is 21 to imature for a serious relationship?

Age Difference [ 7 Answers ]

I am 27 years old and my partner is 28 years older than me.We have been dating almost 2 years.I am really in love with him. But he is a control freak. I can't spend my time with my friends.He doesn't let me visit my parents because they live in another city.Nobody can come to my house because...


View more questions Search