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    vikramg's Avatar
    vikramg Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 7, 2006, 01:38 AM
    Accepting expensive gifts
    I am hesitating whether to accept exensive gifts such as diamond jewellery from a one year old boyfriend even though I like him. I am only 17 and he is 20. Is it okay ? Will there be any implication of this on our friendship. Please advise me whether to accept it, In case advice is to return it then what's the most quick and appropriate method of returning without hurting the friendship... Thanks
    K_3's Avatar
    K_3 Posts: 304, Reputation: 74
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    #2

    Oct 7, 2006, 05:51 AM
    Was it a gift for a special occasion? What was it and just how expensive?
    vikramg's Avatar
    vikramg Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 7, 2006, 07:31 AM
    He gave me on my birthday whaich was three days ago. It was a set of necklace and a ring. I found out worth about 600 dollars. I was taken aback, didn't know what to do and kept it on the spur of moment. Now I don't know what to do. I like him very much. Ut I am not sure whether there would be any long term implications
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #4

    Oct 7, 2006, 08:05 AM
    Usually an expensive gift like that is given as a commitment to becoming engaged. If you're not ready to progress to this stage then I wouldn't accept it. Just tell him that you can't accept such an extravagant gift at this stage. He may be trying to build up to something but if you'er not ready for that then you need to tell him.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #5

    Oct 7, 2006, 08:14 AM
    A gift should be given without the expectation that the recipient will do some kind of favor in return.

    If the gift was presented as a birthday present, you shouldn't hesitate to keep it. If it was given with strings attached, you should give it back.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,223, Reputation: 10853
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    #6

    Oct 7, 2006, 12:12 PM
    I think you should firmly let him know how you feel about expensive gifts and I hope we don't read his post about how much he put in a relationship only to get dumped. Its up to you to set your boundries as to what is and isn't appropriate.
    vikramg's Avatar
    vikramg Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 7, 2006, 01:18 PM
    Why do you think he gave me the expensive gift in the first place knowing that I am still so young... the action has made it diifficult for me decide either ways whether to keep the expensive gift or to return it at the cost of unnecessarily complicating the friendship
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,223, Reputation: 10853
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    #8

    Oct 7, 2006, 04:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vikramg
    why do you think he gave me the expensive gift in the first place knowing that i am still so young.........................the action has made it diifficult for me decide either ways whether to keep the expensive gift or to return it at the cost of unnecessarily complicating the friendship
    `I'm willing to bet he is trying to impress you and show how much he loves you. It is important that you let him no whether this is unnneccesary or not. Make a decision and stick to it as sometimes there is a cost to our actions as well as our inaction.
    lilian79's Avatar
    lilian79 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Oct 13, 2006, 10:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by vikramg
    I am hesitating whether to accept exensive gifts such as diamond jewellery from a one year old boyfriend even though I like him. I am only 17 and he is 20. Is it okay ? Will there be any implication of this on our friendship. Please advise me whether to accept it, In case advice is to return it then whats the most quick and appropriate method of returning without hurting the friendship....Thanks
    OHHHHHHHHH you need to give that thing back... when we start excepting things and making it seem like its okay for us to feel like we owe them something because they gave us that... Its not good plus you are only 17, and you are just beginning to know what you want, and I am sure that right now you don't want someone to begin trying to control your life, because that's what its going to start happening...

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