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RickJ · Aug 31, 2006, 12:31 PM

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, ”Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

:D

magprob · Aug 31, 2006, 04:12 PM

Oh yea, they tried to get me into that Al-Gebra cult back in high school. I told them they were a bunch of fanatics and to bug off man. I'm glad I did... what with all this new information that has been uncovered. I'm with Bush on this one.

Well Rick, that skirt may be wide but somehow I get the feeling we are not getting "all" of the story. Therefore, I keep looking up there for answers.

NeedKarma · Sep 1, 2006, 11:08 AM

I think I saw that guy, he was talking in hushes tones about axes and quadratic something or other. He tried to get me all brainwashed and wanted me to cosine something - no way, not without a lawyer present! Then he took off on a tangent and said it was irrational.

Crazy man.

worthbeads · Sep 1, 2006, 04:38 PM

I wonder what the charges measure up to be? ;)

magprob · Sep 1, 2006, 10:09 PM

Yea, and then they tried to bribe me with pie but you can imagine my consternation when I realized it was'nt even real pi!

worthbeads · Sep 2, 2006, 06:35 AM

They'd better have a good union, (or at least an intersection) ;)

RickJ · Jun 16, 2011, 06:01 AM

Haha, this old joke is circulating again, but the end now reads

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.'

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
profound statement by the President - It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.