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in2pro · Feb 28, 2009, 08:27 AM

Hello new the forum
I have a question about sharing space (rooms) we have a blended family, she has 2 twins 9 yo a boy and a girl, I have a 14yo girl.
The twins shared rooms up until we married 4 years ago, after marriage we put the girls together and the boy got his own room.
My daughter now being a ten really needs her own space(room) as her and step mom tend to argue a lot because step mom gets into my daughters space when she has to go into the girls room to do what ever.
Who has priority the boy having his own room or the teen?
The twins have the same schedule, same bed time, wake up times even similar after school activities. My 14 teen is in high school and has different schedule all together.
It's a 3 bd room home and moving is not an option nor is expanding at this time.
My 14 yo has made some good points as to why she should have her own room but my wife wants the boy to have his own room and says the girls should share.
( I agree with my daughter)

Fr_Chuck · Feb 28, 2009, 09:47 AM

Hard, if you can not afford an additional bedroom, I would leave the girls together.
Making or dividinng the room as best as possible.

Also exactly what does mom have to do in the 9 year olds room, they should be putting their own clothes away, cleaning their own room and so on.

in2pro · Feb 28, 2009, 10:18 AM

Thank you for the reply,
Mom was accessing the closet to pack the younger girls clothes for a weekend church camp. Step mom knocked over some clean laundry that my daughter had not put away yet, long story short step mom got them mixed up with some dirty laundry in the process of moving it out of her way. Older daughter got upset when she got home that her stuff had been messed with and voiced it and pushed step mom's buttons, step mom over reacted drawing dad(me) in.
My point as was my daughters is that their rooms are their personal space and items in it should be respected. Step moms point was it shouldn't have been in her way...
Explosive argument ensued.
I do not enforce clean room policy other then for safety or health if they want toys, clothes every where that's fine just keep it out of my space (rest of house) and don't whine to me when you can't find something.

in2pro · Feb 28, 2009, 10:30 AM

I should mention that step-mom and daughter mix like water and electricity, Its my opinion that step-mom has a problem with detachment or the lack of and expects step-daughter to respond the exact way her children do... Leading to my question of for the sanity, safety and over all harmony it would be best to limit the possible interactions of step mom and step daughter by putting boy and girl twins back on same room.

Wondergirl · Feb 28, 2009, 10:51 AM

I vote for the girls to share a room with firmer housekeeping rules established (a family meeting maybe with a counselor?). Has that worked okay until the blowup, or are there other problems, as between the girls?

I don't like the idea of a prepubescent girl and boy sharing a bedroom. It might work now, but in a year or two?