[littleworry]

Back in 1989 my father died. I was just 2 years old. My mother gave me up for adoption and my fathers family weren't interested.

But they kept in contact

Now being 20 and have lived a hectic life moving around from foster home to foster home and then having to live in a hostel at 16. One question I have often asked was why did this happen to me.

My mother and father were well off people and there is evedence to prove it.

I want to know why there was no money to look after me and why I had to go into foster care and live in a hostel so young. Why I am nothing and my peers have everything from expensive phones to homes. And most of them are driving in fancy cars now!

Yeah I know I'm jelous.

Well I have some family that live abroad they have always kept intouch and recently I asked what happened when my father died.

And she told me that my fathers houses were sold for a quarter of a million! Along with everything else in the house...

She also told me that my mother didn't get any of it because she asked my grandmother for his death certificate (on the day of the funeral! Which I don't believe) so she can remarry!

I have now found out that the money was split between the family and they each brought a house.

THEY LEFT NOTHING FOR ME

Yes I know I was only 2 but surely they should have put some of the money into a trust.

The other thing that has come to my attention is that my father said to his mother that he wanted her to make sure that I'm well looked after and that the house is left to me. Now I know my nan is old and she couldn't do that.

I just want to know why was my life so ed up. Why should my family live off my dead fathers money. And how come no one was there to stop this. What can I do about it now.

DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK NOW>>? Or should I just let it go? I suppose that is easy to do. But every christmas that passes I feel even more sader than the year before because I know what I haven't got and that's a mum and dad. SO WHAT!

[CaptainRich]

Let it go
Life isn't fair

[Fr_Chuck]

You did not say what county this is, does not sound like the US.

In the US, the wife would get everything, unless there is a will.
And in the US, there would not be a death certificate for about 1 to 2 weeks after death, and that is fairly well known. And you don't ask "grandmother" for it, you get it from the state.

But in general unless money was illegally divided up by the family, you are just out of luck and need to start working and making your own life.
Perhaps you can ask those in the family to help.

But so life is not fair, you do what you can.

[excon]

Hello little:

Sad story! But, as the Captain said, life isn't fair, and there ain't nothing you can do about that.

But, there may be something you can do about your situation. Look, it's really pretty simple. I'm a black and white kind of guy, and I'm not real bright. So, it makes it much easier for me to reduce my choices down to either/or. I'm not good at figure ring out more complicated stuff than that.

And, that's what my advice to you boils down to; either/or, one or the other, black and white, door number one or door number two.
Door number one is your legal/financial problem. Door number two is your personal situation. Cool. The legal/financial problem can be handled by a lawyer. It's going to cost you money. How much? I don't know, but for a competent attorney to flush this out for you might be upwards of $10,000. If you shop well, and you have a good enough case, you might find a lawyer who will take the case on a contingency basis. That means he'll take a percentage of your winnings, IF you win. I kind of doubt whether you'll find someone like that, but if you shop WELL, you may.

IF you find a lawyer who will take the case, then let him do his thing... IF you get anything, it's more than you have now. Take it and move on. IF you find that no lawyer will take your case on a contingency and you decide NOT to pay for one, then close the door, and move on.

In terms of your personal situation, if you take my advice and DO everything you can legally to get your rightful inheritance, then you can do no more... Get that you're doing EVERYTHING possible. That should allow you to gather up the threads of your life and move on.

At some point in everybody's life, a person has to take responsibility for its outcome. That time for you, Young Person, is NOW.

excon

PS> Will you ever find out why your family treated you shabbily?? Probably not. But, your family isn't a whole lot different than many others. Money has broken many a family.

[littleworry]

I live in the uk. So I guess the laws here are slightly different. The one thing I didn't say probably because of the way people are quick to jump to conclusions. Is that my father died of a drug over dose. And my mother was an addict too. Which is why they left me. I guess they thought id turn out like them.

But I'm not the slightest bit like them, I have my own life and I am happy.

Its not about winning or losing its about justice. If I let go I have let them win. Take everything and just abandon me.

I don't want to make anyone's life a miserey I just want them to put their hands up and saythat they are sorry for just leaving me the way that they did. And then I would call it quits. But for them to live with the guilt that doesn't go away

Its too late for them to start being family to me now.

[CaptainRich]

"my mother and father were well off people and there is evedence to proove it" said you.

Would you seek acknowledgement if they weren't?
It's possible, if they couldn't take care of themselves correctly, you might be better off.

Either way, you've got alotta highway ahead of you if you keep your eye's in the mirror.

[Nicole82]

Ask questions!! Don't just keep you thoughts and feelings to yourself. Let your family know how you feel. While doing it don't bite your tongue in order to spare anyone's feelings. Be polite but firm. If you aren't given an apology or anything else you feel like you deserve don't feel like they've won because God has the last say so. Things may look one way and then the next moment things can change at the wink of an eye. Im sorry you had to go through this. We don't know the future but who knows what your life would be if you didn't.

[workcherrie]

back in 1989 my father died. i was just 2 years old. my mother gave me up for adoption and my fathers family werent interested.

but they kept in contact

now being 20 and have lived a hectic life moving around from foster home to foster home and then having to live in a hostel at 16. one question i have often asked was why did this happen to me.

my mother and father were well off people and there is evedence to proove it.

i want to know why there was no money to look after me and why i had to go into foster care and live in a hostel so young. why i am nothing and my peers have everything from expensive phones to homes. and most of them are driving in fancy cars now!

yeah i know im jelous.

well i have some family that live abroad they have always kept intouch and recently i asked what happened when my father died.

and she told me that my fathers houses were sold for a quarter of a million! along with everything else in the house....

she also told me that my mother didnt get any of it because she asked my grandmother for his death certificate (on the day of the funeral! which i dont believe) so she can remarry!

i have now found out that the money was split between the family and they each brought a house.

THEY LEFT NOTHING FOR ME

yes i know i was only 2 but surely they should of put some of the money into a trust.

the other thing that has come to my attention is that my father said to his mother that he wanted her to make sure that im well looked after and that the house is left to me. now i know my nan is old and she couldnt do that.

i just want to know why was my life so ed up. why should my family live off my dead fathers money. and how come no one was there to stop this. what can i do about it now.

DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK NOW>>? or should i just let it go? i suppose that is easy to do. but every christmas that passes i feel even more sader than the year before because i know what i havent got and thats a mum n dad. SO WHAT!

My family has sh** on me more times than I can count and I spent years sad and depressed about it and but have finally figured out that its not worth it to spend so much of my time and energy on such crappy people and I don't need anyone in my life that would treat me that way... your better off with out them and there precious money!

[hannibalvictim]

Just a head's up- things could get worse...
My family sounds very like yours except for one thing: my mother forced everyone to focus on her except for anyone at all she could get to take me off her hands, but she refused to actually give me up and give me a chance to have a family who would actually put me on a priority list. She didn't want to expose what a loser she was by doing that. As a result, she has been in my life the whole time, manipulating others away who might treat me better and give me someone else to care about. Conning me out of the only home I could afford as a single person 15 years ago, and now that she has scared off the only person who stuck around me for years, she is trying to snake out the first home since then that I could get because she wants the deal for herself.
I did not confront her, but found out she forged my name to buy another piece of property several years ago. Today I discovered other things on my credit report that do not belong there. Who else would have my info to open bogus accounts in my name? I never give out my info to anyone because she scares them off beforehand anyway.
I totally understand about not wanting to let people screw you and get away with it, and I agree with looking for a lawyer who will help. Try a civil rights lawyer. But be happy your screwballs didn't force a legal connection down your throat which ennabled them to have openings for further impositions.