Originally Posted by ScottGem
Hey i like your comment on one of the users that answered my question! Your so right, i never asked about sex, i asked about relationship. :cool: Although your answer was short, but ur answer was the only one i really like. :)
errmm... really, i never been in a relationship with this guy. He's actually someone i call brother, no he's not my real brother. I'm the only child. But one day this guy step into my life and changed it completely, i respect him so much like a brother. He's always by myside no matter what situation. He helps me out wen i needed him the most. Like seriously, i promise he treats me like a real sister, not a friend or a lover. Nah.. he never touched me like pplz may have thought. Of course he knows whats right and whats wrong. And i know he will never go out with a minor like me. One of the reasons why i asked the question. At first i liked him. And then he honestly told me straight up that i shouldn't waste my time with this feeling i have. Back then, my feelings weren't as strong. So i told him, alright bro, itx coo... we can't be together... loving you like a bro is coo with me. lol. I didn't think much back then. And thought that the feeling wouldn't be so hard to fade away. But as days go on.. and i get to know him more and we were closer, i figured i can't lie to myself no more, i really love him. To me.. i love him more and more each day as a *lover love*, but to him.. i'm like a sister. But itx hard for me to stop. He's a smart guy, he can tell, and he knows i love him. And he tells me that we can't be together, because its not right. Of course i know the law, but i keep on lying to myself, because i love him.
Really though, he loves me like a sister and he will always do. But I told him.. I promise that no matter what.. I'm not going to give up. No matter if it takes 5 more years or even more than that. I wonder if wenever I turn 18, I can finally change his mind? But I doubt it. I got to be honest, I love him.
I used to be in love with this other guy. This other guy was my first boyfriend and first love. It was painful. I love him all my heart. At that time, I was very young you can say. I was 12 and he was 16. Your like thinking... WOW! Huh? Yeah... We were close and I thought he love me too. But while we were together, I didn't know that he was with this other girl.. off and on, lying to me. Even when I found out, he kept on lying to me and I somewhat believe.. and somewhat knew it wasn't true.. but kept on lying to myself about it. At the end.. he brought up the subject about the age difference. Back then when I was 12, I didn't know anything about this law. But he knew all along, but he never told me. But when he doesn't want me anymore, he brought up this subject and sayd, he can't even touch me and blahs, he can't even hang out with me cause of my age. And it hurts me, because he knew that all along, but chose to tell me after I start to love him so much, now its so hard to erase that feeling. During this whole time, the guy a called brother was always here for me to talk to me... about this ex boyfriend of mine. He keeps telling me that my boyfriend will keep on doing the same thing to me, but I never listened to my brother, but it turned out to be true, whatever my brother tried to warn me. Well day after day... I cried non stop, it hurt so much, my chest actually hurts. I totally got to admit that I was depressed. But my brother was always there to talk to me... after awhile... I learned to finally forget that guy.
Good news and bad news... the good is that, I learned to love the right type of guy, the bad news is, I love the guy that I can't be with. All because he is 4 years older than me, if only he was one year younger.. then it'd be OK.
But I guess it'd still be the same solution, because my god brother doesn't love me like that. He loves me like a sister. And in his hear, he likes this other girl. And I know my brother is the kind of guy who.. when he likes or love someone, he stays true to one. I know him well and understand him most.
For the past 3 days, I been thinking... should I let him go or not? Or should I say.. should I stop trying to get what I can't get? Its not my brother's fault a feel this way. And I know it truly. Itx his right to love whoever, and its true that he can't be with me. And I know that I'm not the type of girl he'd want as a gurlfriend. So for the past 3 days, I been thinking that maybe I should finally decide to quit trying.
I guess I believe in destiny. We're not legal. And if one day I'm legal, and I still can't be with him... then I guess itx destiny. And that maybe he's jux not the guy I'm meant to be with, maybe he's jux meant to be my god brother.
I still love him though, but at the same time.. I'm trying to fight the feelings. And learn to love him more like a brother than a lover. Isn't that right?
Love is all about sacrifices. If you love the person, you want them to be happy, even though yourself is feeling pain. That is love. I can't be selfish.
Ahh... sorry itx such a long message. But I really thank you for your time. Usually.. my brother is the only one I turn to whenever I have any problems of any kind. But I can't talk to him about this, I don't want him to know about this. But if I ever need anyone to talk to, I can talk to you... right?
What's your name? My name is Lina.