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    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 20, 2013, 12:42 AM
    Is it illegal in canada for an 18 year old and a 14 year old to have sex
    Just wondering because I know the age of consent in canada is 16 but there was a thing I read that said for 14-15 year olds it was permitted if the other person was less then 5 years older. Does this mean that me being 18 and the girl I want to get with being 14 that it is legal for us?

    Just an FYI. We are not dating atm because I told her I didn't want any trouble and I was willing to wait till she was older but I thought I would just look up about the situation to make sure and came across this.

    We aren't thinking about sex either - we just want to make sure that if we ever kiss or something I won't end up in jail you know ? Lol
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
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    #2

    Sep 20, 2013, 02:03 AM
    I don't get it. What do a child (14 years old) and an adult (18 years old) have in common. How about you let this child grow up and enjoy her childhood before you date her. If it is meant to be when she is 18 she will still be there and you two can have a relationship
    Oh wait, I don't get it right. She is very mature for her age, She does not act like other 14 year olds. I don't understand the depth of your love.
    Have you talked to her parents and told them of your intentions? I would think any good parent would be telling you here is the door don't let it hit you on the way out, and some may even do more. I know if it was my loved one you had better be running for the hills. I have no use for child predators. .
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Sep 20, 2013, 02:32 AM
    There is a close-in-age exception for 14 and 15 year olds having sex with someone up to 5 years older.
    But I agree entirely with mogrann. PLUS, guess what? You say you just want to date, etc, and not have sex, but there's a lot more to this than sex. The minute you are out of high school (if you aren't already), you are going to be ancient history. You are just one more old guy hanging around the school, hanging onto teen fun, and you are supposed to be off starting your adulthood and career. She will dump you in a heartbeat. You will plead and beg and she won't care. You don't believe me, but it happens every time.
    And one last thing: her parents. They are her guardians, they are 100% responsible for her. If they find out, I highly doubt that they will approve, and they can make your life a legal hell. There are ways to get you as an ADULT in trouble with the law for going against their wishes, laws regarding endangerment. Even if you go somewhere and she gets hurt, or you go to a party where there is drinking or drugs, or you are somewhere where people get arrested...
    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 20, 2013, 02:50 AM
    you see the thing is. In like 4 years when she is 18 and I'm 22 - no one will bat an eye at it...

    also yes. I went up to her father and asked his permission to date his daughter when the time was right and he agreed to it.

    I am not that random 18 year old looking to get at it before the grass does. I at first at told this girl we couldn't even hang out because of the age difference but after hanging out with her for a little while at a mutual friend of ours house. I started to like her.

    so... other then the fact that I told her we will not be doing anything anytime soon in regards to sex. And the fact that I had the balls to ask her parents permission - when the time comes - to date their daughter - also the fact that I am out of high school and so are the large majority of the people I hang around and we all have jobs and are able to look after ourselves. I could see where u guys would think I'm a weird sex offender just looking for some little girl to have sex with.
    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 20, 2013, 02:52 AM
    I was just trying to make sure that if someone else looking in on this situation decides to spread a rumour or some bull like that. That I won't land my in jail because I hang out with a girl I like but she is a little younger - even though I have made it clear that we will be doing nothing until she is older.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:02 AM
    OK. I told you it's legal, and you got permission (it sounds like, not totally clear).
    I claim you will be heartbroken.
    At 14, she will be changing her mind about all sorts of things constantly, and she will have tons of guys in her school around her, and statistically, these relationships don't last long.
    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:12 AM
    OK thank you for clearing that up.

    Although I would like to think that your wrong.

    If things don't work out - I geuss they don't work out

    I'm not a like most the kids now a days who whine and complain about lost relationships and like that. If it doesn't work it doesn't work.
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
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    #8

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:12 AM
    You don't see that in 4 years she will have grown up that is why people won't have an issue.

    SHE IS A CHILD. YOU ARE AN ADULT.

    Why don't you stay friends and wait until she is grown up and then date. Surely your love is strong enough to wait? Give her a chance to be a child and finish her growing and maturing. If you can not wait then I wonder about the relationship and your motives.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by simon4564 View Post
    you see the thing is. in like 4 years when she is 18 and im 22 - no one will bat an eye at it ....

    also yes. i went up to her father and asked his permission to date his daughter when the time was right and he agreed to it.
    Yes, in 4 years, no one will bat an eye. But in 4 years she will no longer be a child, but an adult who can make her own decisions. So that argument doesn't hold water.

    And what did you define as the time being right? Hey, if an 18 yr old came to me and asked if he could date my 14 yr old daughter when she turned 18 I would agree to.

    That she is a child. And you should be concentrating on girls your own age.
    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:29 AM
    {vulgarity and personal attack removed}

    And yes. When I asked her father for permission he said when she is 16 ( the legal age of consent where I live) she can do as she pleases in these matters.

    And yet again I will state

    I am not looking for a young girl to have sex with - I was just making sure that no bull will come up if someone decides to spread a rumour around - I live in a small town. Word gets around fast.
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
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    #11

    Sep 20, 2013, 03:34 AM
    Narrow minded. Sorry I am one of the most tolerant people on this site. I never mentioned sex did I . She is too young to be in a relationship with you. Just wait 4 years and then date her is what I said. Seem to me every post of yours keeps mentioning sex
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #12

    Sep 20, 2013, 04:12 AM
    You have completely lost my sympathy, after looking up the fairly new law for you. And I'm going to be mean too, and say 'No wonder you are attracted to a 14 year old. You're acting about 12.'
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #13

    Sep 20, 2013, 04:53 AM
    First, the father is wrong. While 16 may be legal age of consent for sex, One has to be 18 to not have to obey their parents rules. I suspect the father was just trying to be nice. Lets see how he reacts when a 20 yr old comes sniffing around his 16 yr old.

    I'll accept that you aren't a sexual predator. But the fact that you are romantically interested in a child, indicates that there is something amiss with you. Even in a small town, there must be girls closer to your own age. As previously noted 4 years is a very large difference when one is an adult and the other is a minor. As both get older, that difference gets smaller and smaller. But for now, it's a wide gulf.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #14

    Sep 20, 2013, 05:40 AM
    Bottom line you need to wait the almost 2 years to abide by the father. That doesn't mean you can't talk to her and get to know her or hang out at the mall on a Saturday afternoon --- with her dads approval that is.
    simon4564's Avatar
    simon4564 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Sep 20, 2013, 10:25 AM
    Its funny how you are all saying I should wait till she is older to do anything... funny cause I have already made it clear (or so I would think) that is what I am doing.

    And another thing - when I first met her - I was told she was 17. Which she looks like she is so I didn't question it especially since the info came from my mother.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #16

    Sep 20, 2013, 12:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by simon4564 View Post
    its funny how you are all saying i should wait till she is older to do anything... funny cause i have already made it clear (or so i would think) that is what i am doing.

    and another thing - when i first met her - i was told she was 17. which she looks like she is so i didnt question it especially since the info came from my mother.
    But you didn't wait. You talked to her father about it. You initiated some level of contact with her.

    Ok, so your mom told you the wrong age. But as soon as you found out the truth, you should have immediately backed off. Apparently you didn't.

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