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    oliverpk's Avatar
    oliverpk Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 05:14 PM
    Ex-husband filing restraining order against my boyfriend
    Hi, I have never posted on this type of site but can't seem to find the answer wherever I turn to look. Brief history-I've been divorced for 3 1/2 years and have been dating the same person for 3 years. I have 2 children with my ex. My boyfriend is a nurse practitioner and had prescribed an antibiotic for an infection my son had (without being seen in the office). Nothing happened, except he got better. My ex-husband "found this out" (but I wasn't trying to hide it either) and is now threatening to file a restraining order for that simple fact alone. He says it is not his place to make "judgements" about our kids and he needs to mind his own business. I don't think either one of us thought my ex would be mad, but maybe grateful that someone was helping our child. I know his motivation is jealosy because he is without a job and does not pay child support on a regular basis, nor is he a good father to our kids AND never got over our divorce or me. He likes to assert his "authority" when he thinks it suits him. Also, I am an ER nurse, have been for 15 years so you'd think he would trust my judgement as well, Lord knows he did and hardly ever ask a medical question ever when my son was hospitalized for 7 months. My question is simply this: Can he really file a restraining order for that reason? And second: Doesn't there have to be some harm or intent to harm someone or will a judge sign a request based on anything? Thanks.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
    Ultra Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 05:20 PM

    He can file... it will be rejected. A restraining order is a protective order. This is a difference of opinion in child care... something that a court honestly couldn't care less about.

    He's talking out his behind... he's got nothing. Tell him to have fun at the court house. The clerks could use a good laugh.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 05:41 PM

    To get a protective order or a restraining order it would have to be proven that the child was harmed or could be harmed. I don't see the order being granted either. Tell him to start paying child support or he'll be in store for some "Judge time" himself.
    oliverpk's Avatar
    oliverpk Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 05:56 PM
    Thanks guys. I am just worried because I've read other posts on here where people are getting restraining orders against them based on lies, without proof. He is just so annoying with his threats and promises. He says he's taking me to court too... I have no idea what for. I didn't do anything. I live for my kids and am a good mom, and he has ALWAYS said that, even when we don't get along. I'm just fed up with him interferring in my relationship. It's funny, he cheated on me numerous times and I forgave him twice... because of the kids. The third time I finally filed for divorce and never looked back. I didn't want my daughter growing up thinking that was OK. He can't get over it. For at least a year, he begged and begged for me to forgive him. I guess since I had done it before, he thought I would do it again. I wish he would just get a one way ticket somewhere.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
    Ultra Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 06:01 PM

    People talk all the time. In the case of custody and the sort of stuff around here, the vast majority of the time is is just posing and posturing. I wouldn't worry about it.
    oliverpk's Avatar
    oliverpk Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 10, 2009, 06:24 PM
    "posing and posturing"... I love it!
    Toodalu's Avatar
    Toodalu Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Nov 2, 2010, 11:22 AM
    I am in a very similar situation and am in need of advice. My ex husband and I separated in January for the second time, and our divorce was finalized five months ago. I began seeing someone about three months ago and couldn't be happier. My boyfriend is a school teacher and is just starting to get to know my four year old daughter. He is very appropriate with her and she seems to like him a lot. I currently have a temporary order of protection against my ex husband for stalking and harassment, as well as threatening harm to my boyfriend through text messages to me. Recently, my daughter told her dad that my boyfriend stayed the night, slept in her room, and made her breakfast the next morning. None of this is true, she is four and we all know how kids can make up stories. He will not believe me when I tell him this and is accusing me of calling our daughter a liar. I feel quite strongly that she says this because he questions her incessantly during his visitation time with her. My ex and boyfriend have never met and I'd like to keep it that way so things don't escalate further, but my ex continues to call and demand to know who my boyfriend is stating that's its his business if he is around our daughter. I continue to tell him that he is in violation of the order of protection when he does this but he still calls. He is now saying he does not want my boyfriend around our daughter at all and if I allow it, he will get a restraining order against him. My boyfriend has never done anything to harm my child in any way, and I know this is just another way for my ex to try and control my life. Is it possible for him to do this? He contested the temporary order of protection and we have another hearing scheduled for a few weeks from now. I am afraid he will coach my daughter into saying things that are not true. HELP!
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Nov 4, 2010, 09:05 AM

    Can he file a restraining order? Yes. Will it be granted? That's another issue. My gut feeling is, probably not. Assuming that your boyfriend provided competent medical treatment to your son within the bounds of his legal and professional qualifications, there's no legitimate reason for the judge to grant the restraining order. You may want to get a disinterested 3rd party (i.e. a physician colleague) to testify that your boyfriend's actions were justified and prudent.

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