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pamilovesu · Feb 16, 2014, 03:57 AM

I have a 16 year old daughter who is pregnant by a 39 year old child molster how do I convince her how wrong this is. She in love w him (yes police involved) and she hate me right now.

Does she have any rights by law to be with him?

What problems can there be? I'm so worried for this baby

I have filled a police report but they still haven't pickd this molster up what do I do? I'm scared he will try to take my daughter.

Please someone help.

joypulv · Feb 16, 2014, 04:22 AM

Sometimes all a parent can do with a late teen is to put your foot down, as calmly and quietly and FIRMLY as possible, and tell her what the rules of the house are and what your liability as her parent is. All the rest is just gibberish to her, and she's not going to hear about how she's ruining her future. You can't really 'win' no matter what you do, so accept that, and don't punish yourself trying. And don't blame yourself either.

It's a very difficult dividing line between showing her that you really do love her and want her to know she can lean on you, vs standing your ground on what you know is best for her life. It is ever thus with any teenager, as he or she turns into an adult. There's no easy answers. All I can suggest is to TRY to keep the yelling and long pleadings to a minimum, and to instead keep it short and consistent.

As for right and wrong, in the US it's a legal matter as far as her right to keep the baby, and laws regarding criminal action against the man vary by state. You may already know exactly what they are in your state, or you can ask us.

ScottGem · Feb 16, 2014, 05:56 AM

First, any question on law need to include your general locale as laws vary by area. In some areas at 16 she is over the age of consent so what having sex with her may not be illegal. That could be why the police have not acted yet. How long ago did they meet? How far along is your daughter? Exactly how old is she? How did he come in contact with her?

He can't marry her without parental permission in most areas. So if tries to take her away before she turns 18 she could be considered a run away. We really need to know more to help you with the legal angle.

However with respect to your relationship with your daughter, there is little you can do now. She is going to be mad at you for interfering with her fantasy. But you have to be a parent and you did the right thing. Hopefully he is nothing more than a pedophile who will drop her now that she is pregnant and she will wake up.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 16, 2014, 08:18 AM

She has believed a lie, not a lot you can do.
Because you can show her 1000 people that know its wrong, but her love is different, he is real.

The baby coming, and soon, when he takes off, and is gone, it will be known.

After that, file for a restraining order (or protective order) so any contact by him will put him in jail.

Next, go see the DA and find out why he is not arrested by now.

talaniman · Feb 16, 2014, 08:42 AM

Difficult situation for any mom, but despite your daughters emotional state protect her at any cost. Separate the emotions from the duty. Not easy I know, given putting this guy in jail makes this a double duty. Take full control on both fronts though and let her hate you, holler, and squeal. So what? You know she isn't reasonable or objective at this point. Hopefully she returns to sanity, but in the meantime YOU are the voice of reason and sanity, so use it. Her being pregnant makes it hard, but you have to get her through it.

Don't hesitate to get yourself some help, be it police, or social services, or family. Some states and counties do have facilities for pregnant teens girls that are victims of predators, and I hope you find one.

Prayers and luck to you.