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    Elizabeth M's Avatar
    Elizabeth M Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 24, 2007, 05:13 PM
    Can We Be A Real Family?
    My husband and I are exstatic about the upcoming birth of our first child, a son, in October. But a shadow looms over our joy: In 1997, my husband was convicted of child molestation. He is innocent but the court appointed judge told him that he "would never be believed. Plead guilty for a lighter sentence." My husband was seventeen at the time. He is now listed as a registered sex offender. I am dreadfully afraid that Raleigh, North Carolina will not let him stay and be a real father to our child, or, that they will take our child. I'm this child's mother. Shouldn't I be the one to decide who should be caretaker of my children? What can I expect? I'm scared. Thank you,

    Elizabeth
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #2

    Aug 24, 2007, 06:31 PM
    What were his terms? Most registered sex offenders are not allowed near children, schools, day cares. I would be careful where you are treading. My guess is that he probably will not be allowed with this child.

    My question to you is how do you know he is innocent? Did you know him at 17? Were you there when this happened? You do not know 100% if he did or did not moleste someone. Sexual predators are masters of manipulation. Your husband may or may not be telling the truth he is the only one who knows 100%.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Aug 24, 2007, 08:27 PM
    If you were married, normally they can be with their own child. I would go and read the court documents on his case to be sure what is going on before I allowed him near my child.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Aug 24, 2007, 08:39 PM
    You mean the court appointed lawyer don't you? If a judge gave him that advice, that would be grounds to overturn the verdict.

    I would suggest your husband consult a good lawyer to see if he can get the conviction reversed on the grounds that he had inadequate representation.

    I too would like to know the nature of his crime and how you are so sure of his innocence.
    Elizabeth M's Avatar
    Elizabeth M Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 25, 2007, 03:29 AM
    Well, I can see that no one here understands love and trust anymore. In regard to what I've read about my husband's case, it sounds like a bunch of, well, we've no proof, let's say he did it and be safe. I love my husband and trust him with our child. Far more than I trust what my child will be exposed to in school and out in the world. This is my child. I should have the first say so in who is to be with my child. My child will have his father. If North Carolina takes that away from my son, than they have just molested him and are no better than the true offenders.
    I am sure of my husband's innocence. I have faith that God will protect the three of us. As this is my own child and not your's, I say the decision is mine. Case closed.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #6

    Aug 25, 2007, 03:59 AM
    Your mind was obviously made up before you posted here so why bother posting at all?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #7

    Aug 25, 2007, 05:04 AM
    We fully understand love and trust. We also understand that at times, love and trust can cause one to be blind to the faults of the object of that love and trust. What we also fully understand is how child molesters can be manipulative and how their compulsion is often incurable.

    You ask our opinion, but you give us very little info to go on. From your reaction it sounds like you just wanted someone to agree with you to make you feel better. I'm sorry we don't work that way. Without knowing the nature and circumstances of his offense do you really expect us to say everything will be hunky-dory?

    If you want the facts, then talk to his Probation Officer. That's the best person to advise what the state will do. But, I have to say the decision will not be entirely yours. The state can and will step in if they feel the welfare of a child is at stake. You are clearly too close to the situation to make a rational decision.

    If you want us to give you realiastic advice you need to give us info to base that advice on.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #8

    Aug 25, 2007, 07:42 AM
    Yes while you fully love and trust, we also get 100' of posters coming here and saying I can't believe what my husband did/// and so and so.
    We hear the worst. Of course seldom does someone come and say good things.

    If he was 17 and had sex with a 15 year old girl friend that is one thing, if he was 17 and had sex with a 8 yearr old that is something else.
    One is illegal but does not mean he will latter abuse other children, the other means he can and most likely will abuse other children
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #9

    Aug 25, 2007, 10:48 AM
    Just being a registered sex offender in and of itself should not deny him rights to his own child, especially when born in wedlock. There may be restrictions on his association with other children. COnsulting with an attorney is a good idea and will help you to fully explore all or your options.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Aug 26, 2007, 04:40 AM
    Hello Liz:

    Relax. They can't take your/his child away...

    excon

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