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    Don't judge me... help me

    Asked Feb 1, 2006, 03:08 PM 10 Answers
    It all started in April I met this girl she was beutifull I'm serious all my friends,I mean everyone in the town was nuts about the girl she had just moved down from denver Colorado. So I start getting to know her she tells me she's 17 she looks like she 19 I was also 17 I met her parants they also said she was 17. It went on and on and then her sis and her got into a fight and her sister said "tell him" "tell him. And I said tell me what. She started to cry and her sister stopped and we forgot about the situation they didn't tell me nothing.I knew their was something wrong.so we got sexually active and she get pregnant.the day we found out she was pregnant she told me that she was lying about her age... I was like what... don't lie I though she was messen around cuzz she always said that but this time she keep isisting so we went and told her parants the news and I asked them what the deal was and they said she is 15... I haven't talked to her sense then but what should I do... help me pleazzz. Its OK with her parants but the law is what I'm worryed about. And I'm 18yrs old know

    Last edited by frank rascon; Feb 1, 2006 at 03:19 PM.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,093, Reputation: 7680
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2006, 03:54 PM


    Quote Originally Posted by frank rascon
    It all started in april i met this gurl she was beutifull im serious all my friends,i mean everyone in the town was nuts about the gurl she had just moved down from denver colorado. so i start getting to know her she tells me shes 17 she looks like she 19 i was also 17 i met her parants they also said she was 17. it went on and on and then her sis and her got into a fight and her sister said "tell him" "tell him. and i said tell me wut. she started to cry and her sister stopped and we forgot about the situation they didnt tell me nothing.I knew their was something wrong.so we got sexually active and she get pregnant.the day we found out she was pregnant she told me that she was lieing about her age.... i was like wut.... dont lie i though she was messen around cuzz she always said that but this time she keep isisting so we went and told her parants the news and i asked them wut the deal was and they said she is 15... i havent talked to her sence then but wut should i do.......... help me pleazzz. its ok with her parants but the law is wut im worryed about. and im 18yrs old know

    Ok, first you all need to tell her parents and you should tell your parents, The sooner the better. Next of course is some hard choices that you are not part of, she is going to keep the baby or have an abortion. Next if she wants to give the baby up for adoption you will have to be willing to sign the adoption papers also. So it is time to stand up and be the man and tell all parties that need to be invovled.

    Next most likley nothing is going to happen, You said she just moved from denver, but did not say what state you are in. In most areas if it was reported, if the parties are within that 2 age range normally there is less problem than if you were 33, and if she is 16 in some states there is no problem at all. So unless her mom and dad start running to the police, nothing happens, she either has a baby and you become a daddy or she has an abortion. ** please note I am very anti abortion, but I do know it is a legal choice in America so I want all her options noted.

    So both of you need to sit down with HER parents and talk about it.

    Next time, always use protection, for this, but most certainly for all the STD running around today.
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    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2006, 08:45 PM
    Legal aspect.

    Get her parents or her sister or her to put it in writing that they all told you she was 17.

    Technically you haven't committed a crime (since you thot she was 17). And depending on where you live, it might be legal for a 15 and 18 yr to have sex.

    This reminds me of a law case I saw on TV (yes, fictional, but based on actual law... ) Kind of like watching Law and Order, the Canadian version. A 35 yr old woman was charged with sexual harassment (rape) for having sex with a 13 yr old boy. Her defence (and she won) was that she thot he was 16 because he said he had his learners permit.
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    frank rascon's Avatar
    frank rascon Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 3, 2006, 10:08 AM
    Thanks for your help father... greatly appreciated and I'm not going to have an abortion. I will take care of my responsibility. Where can we get marryed without getting into trouble.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,539, Reputation: 10839
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    #5

    Feb 3, 2006, 09:18 PM
    Whoa!Slow down partner!Rash and impulsive action got you in this pickle along with dishonesty and deceit!Don't you think its time to use the big head and forget what the little head is saying!First you were lied to by her and her parents so what makes you think they are telling the whole truth now?Only a DNA test can make you that baby's' father and in light of all the lies I'd get one for definitely sure!While I admire you for manning up it would be a big mistake to marry someone who lied and deceived you.Don't even give me that LOVE stuff because you don't know her that kind of well(little head talking)Slow your role and talk to YOUR parents about this and wait and see what happens with this baby before you go throwing your life away.Even if it is yours neither of you would make very good parents now anyway so pay child support (ONLY IF ITS YOURS) and don't let that little head get you in any more trouble! Good luck I hope you keep your eyes open!:cool:
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,093, Reputation: 7680
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    #6

    Feb 3, 2006, 09:30 PM


    YES, whooaaaa.

    I don't think anyone said marriage, if there was no bay, would you marry her today, if not don't marry her now, a baby is not a reason to marry, it is a reason to be a daddy, they are not always the same thing.

    First talk to her parents and your parents, perhaps you need to talk to your parents first. Next of course several issues, is she really pregnant, you may find this hard to believe, but 1000's of girls lie about this every month to get the boy to pay money, to get the boy to marry them.

    Then if she is, it may or may not be yours, always get a blood test, which can't happen until the baby is born, then don't just trust the girl if she says it was done, see the real results.

    Next she can get married in almost any state if her parents sign for her.
    If you run off with her, the parents get the marriage thrown out, and you have kidnaped her and then the sat rape is thrown back in.

    So don't be rash, talk to your parents, then talk to her parents and go from there.
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    extreme42583's Avatar
    extreme42583 Posts: 53, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Feb 3, 2006, 09:58 PM
    In most states as long as her parents know about you both having sex then you have nothing to be worried about, just worry about the baby. I also agree with what everyone else has said!!
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    momincali's Avatar
    momincali Posts: 641, Reputation: 242
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    #8

    Feb 3, 2006, 11:07 PM
    Frank, please listen to Talaniman, don't jump the gun. It's cool that you're willing to stand up but first, please find out for sure if this baby is yours. 2nd, if it is, would you and this 15 year old agree that you're not in a position to support yourselves, much less a new baby. You know nothing about raising a child and these innocent little lives need so much. Please consider giving this baby to a married couple who cannot have children of their own and would die to adopt a baby. It would be the best thing in the world you could do for your child at this time. If you and this girl stay together and things work out, then later you can get married and PLAN for a family, the way it's supposed to be. I know you can probably receive welfare and financially this may help a great deal, but money is not the main issue. Are you responsible enough, mature enough, emotionally stable enough to raise a child in this difficult world? Please consider this option. I know it may be very hard, but put the baby first, and thank you so much for not considering abortion.
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    frank rascon's Avatar
    frank rascon Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Feb 6, 2006, 08:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Whoa!Slow down partner!Rash and impulsive action got you in this pickle along with dishonesty and deceit!Don't you think its time to use the big head and forget what the little head is saying!First you were lied to by her and her parents so what makes you think they are telling the whole truth now?Only a DNA test can make you that baby's' father and in light of all the lies I'd get one for definitely sure!While I admire you for manning up it would be a big mistake to marry someone who lied and deceived you.Don't even give me that LOVE stuff because you don't know her that kind of well(little head talking)Slow your role and talk to YOUR parents about this and wait and see what happens with this baby before you go throwing your life away.Even if it is yours neither of you would make very good parents now anyway so pay child support (ONLY IF ITS YOURS) and don't let that little head get you in any more trouble! good luck I hope you keep your eyes open!:cool:
    Thanks. Goooood idea but I can almost guaranty that its mine cuzz she lived with me 2 months only guy. Well I think! Lol ill be careful and take your advice though
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    bizygurl's Avatar
    bizygurl Posts: 522, Reputation: 110
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    #10

    Feb 6, 2006, 12:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Whoa!Slow down partner!Rash and impulsive action got you in this pickle along with dishonesty and deceit!Don't you think its time to use the big head and forget what the little head is saying!First you were lied to by her and her parents so what makes you think they are telling the whole truth now?Only a DNA test can make you that baby's' father and in light of all the lies I'd get one for definitely sure!While I admire you for manning up it would be a big mistake to marry someone who lied and deceived you.Don't even give me that LOVE stuff because you don't know her that kind of well(little head talking)Slow your role and talk to YOUR parents about this and wait and see what happens with this baby before you go throwing your life away.Even if it is yours neither of you would make very good parents now anyway so pay child support (ONLY IF ITS YOURS) and don't let that little head get you in any more trouble! good luck I hope you keep your eyes open!:cool:
    I agree with Talaniman, don't rush into anything yet.
    What makes me mad is that these parents who are suppose to be adults lied to you and say that their daughter was seventeen when she wasn't? Why in the world would they do that? If anything because this girl lied to you along with her parents about her age you shouldn't get in trouble with the law. That is seriously messed up.
    Just take one step at a time and defenilty take a paterntiy test when the baby is born, can't stress that enough in this situation. Because who knows, if she is going to lie about her age she could be lying about the father of the baby, I'm just saying you never know.
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    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 299
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    #11

    Feb 10, 2006, 09:55 AM
    I say you should spend your prison time wisely, take the continuing education classes and learn to read and write. Then when you get out, you will be in a better position to pay child support for 18 years. That's the real dill... pickle!
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