My 2 yr old is the love of my life but latley he doesn't seem the same to me. We moved out of my moms house into a beautiful apartment and he has his own room but he has been throwing huge fits over everything. I can't talk to him when he's screaming because he can't hear me and probley doesn't care. He demands things while screaming and I try to calm him and get what he wants but when I do he gets even worse and will kick and tell me no. these can last as long as an hour. Another problem I am having is sleeping. His father says at his house he sleeps fine but at mine he either falls asleep earley and wakes up again before I even go to bed or he doesn't go to bed till 1130 or midnight then wakes up at 2,3,4 and he doesn't entertain himself he wakes me up and jumps in and out of my bed tossin and turning. Then hell fall asleep till 6,7,8 and be up the rest of the morning. He takes good naps in the day but has never been on a set schedule because he's in and out of mine and his dads house. I don't know what to do is it just a mom thing? He doesn't act like this around his dad? I want to enjoy my child but I can't when he's screaming at the top of his lungs half the day. I have to fix it because living in an apt I don't want others to have to hear it through the wall. Please help me

Welcome to AMHD. You have to get your little one on a set schedule and not let him bounce between homes, which is the opposite of a set schedule, not to mention divergence in behavior management between the various adults in his life.

I agree with thee above. Maybe he misses your mom?

That's the thing we visit his grandma all the time and he acts the same when were over there. And I'm not going to keep him from his father, he's a huge part of his life. I just need a solution that works around our situation.

Just my opinion, but the orbit around which most things rotate is the child and not the varying and competing schedules of adults; you must attend to the needs of your son. Interesting reading here: Anxiety in toddlers - BabyCenter

mommatracy,
2-3 year olds do throw tantrums and I think it could be normal.

As you said you have just moved and this could also be contributing to his moods.At that age it is a bit hard for them to make their frustrations known and a tantrum is one way of showing it.

Taming the Toddler Tantrum – How to Turn Drama into Cooperation
NNCC Taming Temper Tantrums

I agree with the others,if you and his dad and granma could sit and discuss and set similar treatments for his behavious or similar routines then he might find comfort while he is with either of you.

Moved from introduction forum, please take a moment and return to the introduction area and introduce yourself. When asking a question try and pick the best forum for the subject.

Chuck

I have made a written daily schedule in hopes that it will calm him and make him secure in knowing what is coming each day. Me and his father will both have him on the same schedule. It might take a while to see a change but I am sure this will help. I will keep everyone updated.

Once when one of our toddlers threw a tantrum very much like the ones you describe, my wife filled a cup with water and threw it in the kids face. She acted very calmly and never said a word before or while doing it. The kid stood there in total shock!! Absolutely Priceless!
The tantrums changed a lot after that. It even shocked me when she did it!! Maybe a water pistol would do the trick ? Good luck with it. Once the screaming stops, you can deal with the kid, but the screaming needs to stop first.

Haha that is funny! I will try it but my child has a thick skin and a lot doesn't fase him.

I tried the water and it didn't work!

My uncle did that to my cousin one night when he was throwing a fit and it worked! Lol

Maybe you need a bigger glass and use cold cold water ? The only thing I got left is to flat out ignore their presence. Go on as if the kid wasn't even in the room.

I will speak to my daughter tomorrow and she teaches and evaluates special ed kids. She may have ways to deal with this that I'm not aware of. I am a bit awed by the fact that the water had no effect. If she suggests something, I will pass it on.

Thank you so much, this means the world to me! Its so hard to put up with, I have no idea what to do.

I sent my daughter an e-mail. She is teaching summer classes, so it might be a day or two before she can respond. Let's hope she has some ideas!

My daughter did get back to me. She said the water torture doesn't work. I didn't say that it sure worked on her. That's another conversation entirely. However, she said the best way to deal with the situation is to ignore the tantrum. Any response by you or anyone else only feeds the behavior. It is attention getting and any attention paid to it simply reinforces the actions because it works ! The way to break it is to not react in the desired way. She said she stays calm and says things like " I'm sorry but I can't understand you when you are screaming" and then leaves the child alone. She will respond only after the child is calm. She has no 2 year olds to deal with, but said that it should be treated the same as those a bit older. We both wish you luck and relief in this. I think ignoring the kid sounds like a good way to go.

He is only doing for attn and whatever you react that will do, he don't care if its water or a smack or getting what he's demanding. Simple solution is to put him somewhere safe and tell him that you will not talk to him until he stops screaming and learns to ask properly for things, you then place him in a safe room and carry on with whatever you where doing. For a while he will come running to you still screaming put you don't speak, you place him back where you did and repeat until he calms down, you only reward the good behaviour and not the bad. Which is what you have been doing by giving him whatever he has been screaming about, takes a while but it works

I try to ignore but I can't ignore it when he takes off his diaper because I don't want to clean up pee! Should just let him run naked till he calms down or but his diaper back on?

Yep that just proves my point, attn seeking that's all, and if he pees then once calmed down get him to help clean up! He will soon stop all this once he realises it isn't working and at 2 yrs old , isn't he a bit old to still be in diapers during the day anyway?

I am sure it has been said already - but it sounds to me that, considering the timing, he is adjusting to his new surroundings. He is testing his limitations.
The key is to not give into them.

If he is waking in the middle of the night, I would cut out his afternoon nap. I don't know that I would attempt to reason with a 2 year old. Not during a fit.
When he starts to go into a tantrum, try this trick (I give this advice to everyone) - designate a spot in your home that is a time out spot. We used a corner in our house that was centrally located. When our daughter had done something to warrant a time out, she would have to stand in the corner - nose in. She had to have her hands to her sides, so no moving around and she couldn't talk. I always went by her age to decide on how long. (2 minutes - 2 years old, etc.) We used the same corner as the crying corner. When she felt the need to just pitch a fit, she was told to go to the crying corner. She would have to sit down, face out, and get out whatever was going on. I would tell her she could come out when she was done. If she wanted to TALK to me - she could AFTER she was done crying. She normally would calm down in a minute or two.
I don't know why it works, it just does. She could see everything going on around her, but she was, in a way, removed from it.

The diaper thing, I would not address it until he does calm down. He is doing it for attention and when you give in - he gets what he wants.
If he does pee, he should clean it up.
I don't think he is to old for diapers, but you may want to think about training pants if this is getting to be a regular thing. They are harder to get off and he might just be ready to be potty trained.

Good Luck. It does get better. He is just testing you and seeing what he can get away with.