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Sheryl103 · Oct 20, 2009, 04:32 PM

My 22 year old daughter hates me and I can't seem to make it better. My 22yrs old daughter also had a baby almost one year ago & lives with her dad and step mom. She was brought up VERY spoiled by her father and has wanted for nothing. She got pregnant, right after a DWI, has been even more demanding and needy. I had to finally cut her off financially and this wasn't easy especially after our grandson became a very loved member of our family I know I am leaving out many details, but the bottom line is the same. She had made one horrible decision after another. Like losing a FULL RIDE scholarship for volleyball due to fighting, drugs and not abiding by rules, to her lack of respect toward others. She is drop dead gorgeous and knows it and uses almost everyone she meets and if things don't go her way than she just tosses her friends and loved ones aside. My husband and I have had enough trying to help my beautiful girl and had to put our foot. I could go on and on and on but her abuse just doesn't stop - any ideas - PLEASE?

twinkiedooter · Oct 20, 2009, 04:45 PM

Sure. Stay away from her. She will have to grow up and face reality sooner or later that she is not queen of the world because of her looks. Right now you did the right thing in cutting off the financial end. She's a spoiled brat and nothing you can do will change her ways. She has to change it herself. And living with dad and stepmom means that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Bide your time. It may be many years before she wakes up and gets a good dose of reality. Dad is only making it worse for her now. He's the one she's going to turn around and bite in the hand when she's done with him and done using him. She's a user.

You did nothing wrong. Sometimes kids grow up to be just like her due to how they were tolerated and coddled when younger. Someone somewhere went wrong along the way in how she grew up. Can't cry over spilled milk. Don't beat yourself up over it either. Right now she has to have a "bad guy" to pin all her blame on and you're it for now. Just wait. She'll pin the tail on someone else when the mood strikes her.

People who are demanding and needy are really manipulative jerks that like to play other people and worm everything they can out of other people be it emotions or money. The more needy they become the more pathetic they really are as people and that act plays very well for some people, very well garnering them lots of money and attention.

Sheryl103 · Oct 21, 2009, 09:43 AM

WOW! Thanks for your input and probably telling be something deep down I didn't want to hear... I will defiantly think about it

twinkiedooter · Oct 22, 2009, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Sheryl103

WOW! Thanks for your input and probably telling be something deep down I didn't want to hear...I will defiantly think about it

Sheryl - Sorry to be so blunt in my post but I had a feeling that you had already reached that stage of the game but just needed someone to help you understand that you did make the right choice in the matter. Don't ever blame yourself for someone else's shortcomings.

She threw away her college with both hands because she basically didn't want to grow up and now she's really throwing away everything she possibly can to ensure that she doesn't grow up in a big hurry. Why else would she get pregnant and then go and live at Dad's again? To be taken care of as she can't/won't take responsibility for herself and grow up. I discussed your question with my 26 year old son and he agreed with me about what I said to you earlier.

rides2long · Oct 28, 2009, 12:58 PM

Sometimes we don't recognize mental illness if we have never thought about it before. Your daughter may have a form of it or she may be just what "twinkiedooter" is suggesting. Step back for a while and remember to accept who and what she has become. Try not to give advice to her, sometimes that can feed the resentment.Just repeat what she says to you in an observing way,such as "you must of felt ....." I wish you the best.

Sheryl103 · Oct 29, 2009, 01:06 PM

Do you mean narcissist? I have long thought that... trust me. I have done everything from "do you feel", "do you think" "this makes me feel"... SHE has every classic symptom of a narcissism , I even wrote to Dr Phil once :( I feel so helpless

Sheryl103 · Oct 29, 2009, 01:10 PM

By the way rides2long, (sounds like my husband... hehe) thank you very much for your input!!