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kcny0503 · Jun 18, 2008, 08:49 PM

Hello,

My 3 yr old daughter has been putting toys in her underware quit a bit lately and
Taking off her clothes and once she took off all her clothes when she got into bed, when I asked her why she is doing this she replyed Daddy
Takes my underware off but when I say he does she says No. Could something be
Going on or is it the way I ask her? She is never afraid of being alone with him and does
Not act any different with him. Is this normal behavior for a 3ry old?

bushg · Jun 18, 2008, 09:02 PM

"She is never afraid of being alone with him and does
not act any different with him. "

If he is making it a game then she may not be afraid... she would not know it is wrong until someone taught her it is wrong.

What does your gut feeling tell you?

kcny0503 · Jun 18, 2008, 09:16 PM

I feel something is wrong but how do I go about it. I am taking her to her pediatrian
But if he is just fondling her how will they now anything is going on?

N0help4u · Jun 19, 2008, 04:55 AM

Sounds like he is doing something to her.
She may be replying the two different ways according to how you bring it up

It is normal for 2-4 yr olds to take off their clothes BUT she said daddy when you asked about it so I would try to get to the bottom of that.

I agree with Bushg some kids think it is normal because they don't know any better and it is a parent that is suppose to be trusted by the child.

gigi0317 · Aug 20, 2008, 11:44 PM

Its normal for children 2-5 yrs to take their clothes off but when you ask why and they respond daddy NO.Her dad is supoosed to be someone who loves and protects her she wouldn't respond daddy as a joke something is up and you need to figure it out. Hope everything goes well

Take care... :)

isabelle · Aug 21, 2008, 06:30 AM

Has this child seem you unclothed with Daddy?
It is very important to get to the button of this. Is Daddy is doing anything? You need to find out and that may have to be left up to professionals, and it will still be hard. I think you have made the right start by taking her to the pediatrician
Don't let this slide.. stick with it..

firmbeliever · Aug 21, 2008, 07:42 AM

My three year old used run around naked whenever I take her clothes off for a bath,but now she has learnt to wrap a towel around and loves to do that after a bath.

Putting toys in her underwear does sound normal as mine used to do that to hide her toys from her cousins.Not anymore though.

Not because I don't trust my husaband,but for safety's sake I always give her bath,or her grandma takes her to the toilet whenever she needs to go.She would not ask her dad because I don't ask him to do it,she thinks it normal to only allow me or her grandmas' or her aunts to take her to the toilet.

And if she is having a water playtime in the tub with her cousins,then I always make sure she at least wear panties.

I know,I may sound overly cautious,but I would rather my daughter be aware or know when something wrong happens to let me know or at least for her to think it not normal enough to mention it to me.

Kcny,
My advise would be to be on the look out for any other odd mentions of such events or suspicious behaviour.
If possible don't ask her directly but try to get her talking about the happy and/or sad things she does with others,like her friends and/or relatives or grandparents or even yourself.
What she likes best about her time with each of you.. ask this question at different times,but be on the lookout for any red flags she might show.

ANB428 · Aug 21, 2008, 08:23 AM

My daughter is 3 as well and I have gone up in her room after she has gone to sleep and all of her clothes were off. It has happened on many occasions. She used to always touch herself as well. I took her to the doctor a few times because of her taking her cloths off all the time and for her touching herself. The doctor said that it was normal.

Now, with her saying that daddy takes her panties off. I would talk to him about it and ask her if he has ever touched her down there. My daughter's private area had hurt her and when I asked her if anyone has touched her in her privates, she told me that her teacher at daycare did, but she was probably just wiping her, because I talked to the teacher. I would take her to the doctor for him to check if there has been any abuse in her private areas, and talk to the father and ask him what all of this is about! Good luck!

Moomin · Aug 21, 2008, 08:38 AM

My thoughts go to you and am pleased you understand how delicate this matter is! Be careful how you approach your partner about this subject, until you have taken your daughter to the doctor I would make sure she is not on her own with him!

I hope this proves to be nothing!

joanne 1986 · Aug 23, 2008, 01:46 PM

As moomin said don't leave your child alone with her dad until this is resolved.take her to get checked at the docs and explain to him/her what was said.
I wish you all the luck and I hope you get to the bottom of this
X

N0help4u · Aug 23, 2008, 01:50 PM

I am not sure it would be good to involve the doctor at this point because I have heard that checking to see if something was done sexually to a small child can be traumatizing AND they are mandated to involve social services. I would make sure to never leave him alone with her and to keep trying to find some evidence one way or another and then go to the doctor, child services or where ever.

amanda-kym · Aug 23, 2008, 02:09 PM

Hi I have a 4 year old girl who quite often takes of her clothes and loves running around naked. She also touches herself ( she finds it quite funny) and I think this is quite normal.
Thought he mentioning of her dad is not. I would takes extra precautions until you find out what is going on as that seems to be a step further than the normal investigative behaviour of a small child

isonesexymom27 · Aug 28, 2008, 09:09 AM

It seems like its been more than a month since u post it this question have found out anything about it is he the real dad of her ?
I would just find so hard to believe her dad could be doing something like this to his own baby but you know him better please keep us post it on what is going on ?

GothGirl1771 · Sep 21, 2008, 10:36 AM

Get her checked at the doc... your husband may seem normal, but maybe something is happening... I feel like it is. Why else would a little girl do that? Maybe she's used to her daddy sneaking it at night having sex with her?
I don't mean to sound off so bitter but you never know. Please get your daighter checked up... good luck!

sylvan_1998 · Sep 25, 2008, 07:13 AM

As a victim of molestation and a mother of two (ages 6 and 4) I am very sensitive to this subject. Her context of telling you Daddy did this may be very skewed. She may be remembering him changing her clothes, diapers, etc and it may a memory of something very innocent. However, you are on notice I would think.

It could be a game, but kids know when it is not right. Really they do. Start the talk with her that no one is to touch her under her swimsuit areas and if they do to let you know about it. Then she will tell you when a teacher helps her wipe, dad washes her etc and you can have a dialog about what is right and wrong. The questions will be adundant.

This will open the dialog that there are to be no secrets between mommies and daddies too. I would not buy trouble where you can not reliably know there is some. I would also not turn a blind eye to this. I would also tell my husband what she has said and that you are now starting this program with her and make him reinforce the teachings with you there. Your daughter will be quick to point out any inconsistencies (if there are any).

liz28 · Sep 25, 2008, 04:34 PM

Yes, taking her to the doctor is good and they can check her out.

Otherwise, you can play a game with her before you take her. Get a doll and take off the doll clothes. Point various areas of the doll and ask if she ever been touch there by anyone. This may you can see her reactions.

If your gut is telling you that something isn't right then it not. You have creepy people out there and sadly a lot of kids are getting molesting by their own dad, how sick. I hope you come back soon and update us.

Xrayman · Oct 4, 2009, 05:11 PM

Alarm bells are ringing-"daddy" needs to be spoken too get the bottom of this immediately. You should be there at all times when daddy is taking her clothes of-this is just a little too suspect for me. I'm a father, my girl knows when it is necessary for a father to remove her clothes-for nighttime and for bathtime-fullstop. Something is very weird for her to stipulate that as her first reply to the question of why she is taking her clothes off and 'placing toys in her panties" it just does not "click" that this is okay-investigate-be vigilant!