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    babiiblueyezz's Avatar
    babiiblueyezz Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:40 PM
    What do I need to do about my baby's father ?
    My son is almost two and his father and I have been off and on for 5 years and he has had a bad time with drugs and this is one reason why we are not together now. He comes and goes we get back together and work out for a little bit and then he wants to be around his son and do his part in being a father. Then when he and I fall apart he goes back to drugs and totally disappears and then in a couple of months he will call me up and say he misses his family and says he's sorry and says he's clean and the whole nine yards so then I finally let him see his son and mine and his relationship was only about our son then after a couple of months of him being a father to his son he decides he does not want to do it anymore and blows his son off. He said he would give up his parental rights but I am pretty sure he is just using that as a way to get to me. But I can't do this anymore I can't keep putting myself and my son through all this drama and everything else. I am only 20 and I work almost 50 hours a week. I really do not want my son around him he and I have had our share of fist fights before my son was born. I guess I kept holding on because I figured he would grow up but does not look like it is going to happen I need to know where to start I want him to give up his rights and I want to move on with my life being mama and daddy like I have been doing through my sons whole life! Do I need to go file for custody? Or do I need to go talk to a lawyer? I have no idea what I need to do but I need to get this going? So if you have any ideas about what I need to do please share...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,300, Reputation: 7691
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    #2

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:53 PM
    First, are you married to the gentlemen with the revolving door?

    Second, is he out for good now, since if he is just coming back and you gtake him back in two months, why waste you time?

    If you are no married, or if you are I guess, is the father listed on the birth certificate.

    If he is not on the birth certificte, no need to do anything, unless he goes to court to prove he is the father, he has not current rights.

    If he is on the birth certificate, you file for custody, he may get visits, but you prove the drug use and vistis may be supervised.
    And you file for child support.

    He can't just sign over his rights, forgot that, he is just trying to lie to you, to get out of paying child suport
    babiiblueyezz's Avatar
    babiiblueyezz Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 2, 2008, 08:08 PM
    Well he is on the birth certicate and my son has his last name because at the time we were together! But we are not married and I am completely done with this I am so tired of wasting my time and hoping one day he would love his son like I do and want to be in his life but if he wanted to be in his life he would have been it is not like I told him he could not see his son! He chose not to! And about child support I really do not want any child support I have been doing this on my own this whole time without him or anyone else and we are making is and then some my son is in a good daycare that teaches him things and lets him interact with other children. My son never goes without if I have to give up something because my son needed something trust and believe I would not hesitate.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,182, Reputation: 10852
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2008, 08:29 PM
    Or do I need to go talk to a lawyer?
    A free consultation can do wonders in guiding you to the right path.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,300, Reputation: 7691
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    #5

    Apr 2, 2008, 08:30 PM
    Well the child support is something your child is entited to, it is the child's money, not yours, so put it in the bank for a college fund.
    But you need to file for custody, also of course if you or the child ever gets any state assistance, normally the state holds the right to go after the father for money for support.

    So you file for custody and support, since as long as he is listed on the birth certificate, and tere is no custody order in place, nothing stops the father from just taking the child to stay with him, he has as much legal rights now as you do, ( both on birth certificate and no custody order in place)
    babieface85's Avatar
    babieface85 Posts: 332, Reputation: 24
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    #6

    Apr 4, 2008, 06:01 PM
    In my state custody is the mothers when the child is born, even if the father is of the birth certificate. In my state the father has no rights (even if he is on the birth certificate) until a judge gives them to him (so he needs to go to court for rights, not you). I know your child needs that support but if the father won't work a job and can't pay I think you are better off staying out of court, because you will have to give him his court ordered visitation even if he quits his job won't pay child support. At this point let him go for visitation if he wants it, but don't make it easy by taking him to court. I know this is not the same as other advice, but I'm not making this up, my attorney gave me this information.

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