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darfwiggs · Dec 3, 2009, 01:00 AM

I am 17 turning 18 in march I have a job and a stabble home food in my frige.. since I was 2 years old my mom was leaving me at places and never coming home for months at a time.she did it to my sister and my brother.I don't know how many places I have lived through out my life.I have bin to faster homes from when she would move to a place and then just leave and a year later I would be back living with her and the same gose with group homes and it just replayed and replayed finally at 15 I moved out on my own and ever since I have bin supporting myself but before I left she had a baby girl and she was the light of my life it was hard to leave her behind with that monster and it kills me inside day after day and now she is truning 3 and she just drops her off at my sisters all the time or just leave her there for weeks at a time she doesn't even take care for her like she did to all three of us.know I want to know if I could gane custody of her .my sister has a kid and my brother dose to my family is to pore to take care of her and I make enough money to do it I have money in the bank right now.I know I can take care of her so she doesn't go through the same life as my brother,sister and I .I really need to know if I can take custody so she has I better life well she's still youngh?? PLEASE HELP ME??

dontknownuthin · Dec 3, 2009, 01:10 AM

You would need to contact social services in your area to ask them what you would need to do to qualify to take in your siblings but it could be rough because they will likely not see you as old enough or stable enough. People have done it though, and if you can demonstrate your stability, they might go for it to keep your family together, particularly given your mother's difficulty in being reliable.

Either way though, you can have an impact even if you don't have custody. It's amazing what a single caring and positive voice can have on a child. You can tell your siblings that you love them, and demonstrate to them as an example that a better life is out there for them. You can encourage them in their education and other life goals, and can check up on them to see what they need and help to provide it or obtain it for them.

Perhaps the greatest way you can help them is to be a voice about what happens in the household, and why your siblings need more stability. Even if they were placed with someone other than you, if you are particularly helpful and cooperative it generally is considered important to maintain contact with siblings, and you can or course ask for that to be arranged.

darfwiggs · Dec 3, 2009, 01:19 AM

But what happens if I want her and I have help while doing it lets say wellfiar?

J_9 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:25 AM

First of all you have to be 18 and you have to be able to support yourself WItHOUT the use of Welfare.

darfwiggs · Dec 3, 2009, 01:29 AM

I make a grand every two weeks I think I have enough to support myself and her it's that I don't want her to go through the hored things I went through.. and the fact that she needs me when she grows up so she not screwed in the head like I am and doesn't make the mastakes I made and she has her really family by her side and not some fake holes...

J_9 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:39 AM

I understand that, but you have to be a legal adult to a) adopt, or b) have legal custody.

$1,000 every 2 weeks is not near enough money to support a toddler. She is going to need doctors visits, new clothes, food, child care (if you work), etc. The government will not let you adopt/have custody if you are on the Welfare System.

dontknownuthin · Dec 3, 2009, 07:43 AM

Whether that's enough money or not depends a lot on where you live and the cost of living. Also, when fostering a child, typically a stipend is provided by the state to help support the child and often they qualify for medical assistance, which can cover childcare and medical/dental expenses. So I do recommend this OP should talk to a social worker and find out what the steps and requirements would be. It would probably be difficult to qualify but may be possible.

J_9 · Dec 3, 2009, 07:51 AM

But remember, dontknownuthin, the OP is only 17 years old. She is not going to get custody at that age. She must be a minimum of 18 to enter into a legal and binding contract unless she has legally been emancipated.