My 20 year old daughter has had a good upbringing, has had love, material things and comfort during her growing up, has not gone without. The past 4 years have been difficult at times, problems at school, she became depressed and reclusive when she broke up with her boyfriend 2 years ago, both her father and I have always been there for her through her difficult times.

It upsets me that she has rarely helped us with chores around the house, both of us parents have health issues so at times the help would be welcomed. We have supported her financially as she is at Uni, she works part-time and earns a decent amount of money, we have not asked for any money to contribute to the household, as we want her to be able to study and pay for her own expenses such as running her car, etc.

I have spoken to her to help around the house but she takes no initiative to do so, we are struggling financially at the moment as we have a small business, and retail is doing it tough and she does not contribute to the household in any way both physically and financially. She is lazy, forgetful and basically selfish, unfortunately young adults at this age generally are.

She speaks to her father and me as if we are the children in this house, I have told her lately that this is not acceptable, everything I do and stay is not correct and she knows everything. This upsets me and I get moody, and in turn the household becomes moody.

She has decided to move out, which I think is a great idea it will teach her to grow up. But what is upsetting me is all that we have done and still doing for her , she is acting all cocky about it, telling her friends she has out grown being at home, which is true but why act all cocky about it.

The question is how do I act without getting too upset with her, because I do love her but I want some space and time away from her she has been a handful the last few years, its time for my husband and me to be a couple again.

I get the feeling you really don't want her to move out.

Sorry, but you reap what you sow.

You raised a spoiled child, you provided for everything, you demanded nothing of her, she stayed in your home did nothing to help while you paid for her every need.

Really, you can't expect a grateful child when you've raised a spoiled brat.