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concerned10 · Jan 22, 2008, 07:59 AM

Good Morning...

I just wanted to get your advice about some custody questions... My 7 yr old daughter has never had a close relationship with her Dad... He never really bonded with her or spend much time with her when she very young... he has a strick demeanor and not very loving or warm... he also was abusive to our dog in front of our daughter for a several years... she seems very intimidated by him, and I can only think it is from all of the above... we are now separated and he hasn't really tried to contact us for the last month or so... we have been divorced for over three years, but did get back together for a while and then finally split for the last time in May 07... but my question is... my daughter does NOT want to go see him or even allow me to let him come over... in the past when we were separated he has always tried to at least call and ask to have lunch or something... he always tried to make it look like I am trying to stop the contact, but I have only been listening to my daughters wishes... the last time I made her go we met him at the mall for not even an hour and I went shopping while they went off with each other and when we left she cried and cried on the way home and said that it was my fault the I made her go...

I am worried since we have not heard from him that he may be going to the courts to try to get some sort of visitation forced... we have never went through the friend of the court before... we usually just worked it out ourselves...

My main concern is... if he does do something like that... what am I able to do if my daughter gets upset and does not want to go... do I have any grounds to prevent that...

Thank you for your help...

ScottGem · Jan 22, 2008, 08:03 AM

If he files for visitation rights, there will be a hearing. At that hearing your daughter can talk to the judge and explain what she wants. No guarantee the judge will rule against him, but that really is your only option.

At 7 your daughter is old enough to understand that she can't always have her own way. That this is her father and if he is making an effort to be with her, she owes him some respect.

Momma to three · Jan 22, 2008, 08:05 AM

If there is a visitation order put in place, then you, as the custodial parent, are REQUIRED to make sure your child goes on those visits, unless you can prove to the court that her father is unfit. Unfortunately, courts don't believe that children should be allowed to choose whether they spend time with their noncustodial parent.