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    marvelus49's Avatar
    marvelus49 Posts: 37, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 6, 2018, 04:06 PM
    Should I tell my adult son the father he has known may not be biological father?
    My son is 35 yrs old with an angry sort of personality. I'm not certain my ex husband is his father. We had two children together after losing four pregnancies because of the Rh factor. I'm Irish and he's Italian. We had separated for several months before his conception and I had a relationship with another man. I found out I was pregnant shortly after we reconciled. My son was born with very blonde hair and has very blue eyes and fair skin - as the man I had the relationship with while separated. My son will judge and hate me if I tell him his dad may not be biological. It's not even that he's had a great relationship with his father, but he is very hot headed and touchy. I've been trying to figure out a way to do a DNA testing on he and his dad without their knowledge, or perhaps I can do a DNA on him and his sister. Will that show they only share one parent? I've never told anyone and would want him to know who his biological father was when I die.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,915, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Jun 6, 2018, 04:35 PM
    I doubt your son would be the only one mad at you if you open up this can of worms. No telling how this other fellow would react, or your husband if you open up this can of worms on just a suspicion with the very flimsy evidence you have.

    Ask yourself if any of you needs this disruption after all this time.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Jun 6, 2018, 06:07 PM
    I disagree with talaniman. Everyone has a right to know who their bio father is, if possible. At the very least, for medical history.

    Leave the DNA testing up to him. Leave everything after you tell him up to him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,915, Reputation: 10852
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    #4

    Jun 6, 2018, 06:27 PM
    Good luck telling a guy his 35 year old son may not be his.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Jun 7, 2018, 03:11 AM
    Mom's cross to bear.

    Besides, what if he told his son years ago that he was never sure? He's very dark complected, the son very light.

    Could be the reason why the son's always been so angry.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,915, Reputation: 10852
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    #6

    Jun 7, 2018, 07:23 AM
    Could be. The devil is in the details of which we don't have.

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