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    amanda13's Avatar
    amanda13 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jun 13, 2007, 09:15 AM
    Is it reasonable to not allow visitation until court order?
    I am an unwed mother of a 20 month old. Over two weeks ago the father and I broke up and he moved out. We have major communication issues, I do not trust the father, he has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and currently has a DUI and no license. He did not call for two weeks concerning child then called and announced he is moving two counties away and wants to have the child for a day or two. I will be taking legal action today to protect my rights and child rights. I want father to be part of child's life, but I do not want child to have unsupervised visitation before the courts help establish an agreement. Am I being unreasonable for not allowing baby to go with the father, what if he moved him to different county though? Please help... I don't want him to be able to use this against me in court... can he?
    vlee's Avatar
    vlee Posts: 454, Reputation: 109
    Full Member

    Jun 13, 2007, 02:33 PM
    Get the court order established first. START RIGHT NOW, TODAY! Don't sever all ties to the dad for the child. Offer to allow the dad to visit for a set number of hours in your home under your supervision on a day that works for you. That way you can protect your child and be sure the dad doesn't take the child away, but you are also demonstrating that you understand the importance of their continued relationship by allowing dad access to the child. Have a witness with you so that if the dad says or does anything threatening there is someone to corroborate it. Also, he will be less likely to do anything crazy if he is outnumbered. Stick to the visitation times you set up. When the hour or two hours or whatever you decide upon is up, tell him it is time to go. If he refuses, call the police.
    nanajo1's Avatar
    nanajo1 Posts: 28, Reputation: 4
    New Member

    Jun 13, 2007, 08:11 PM
    Is the father a citizen of another country? Don't leave the dad alone with him anymore but do not sever all ties between them either. If you feel that things will heat up with you there, have your parents there or contact the court and start proceedings right awy and explain your concerns. Tell the court that you do not feel the child is safe in his care for a min alone and that you feel that he is a risk to leave the country and that he will get argumentive or abusive if you are in the room. Sit with an arbitrator of the family court to decide how to proceed. And as vlee stated, if he refuses to stand by your requests then tell him you are going to call the police. You can seek a temporary court order from the courts if you make an appointment with a justice as soon as possible

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