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mamato2 · Dec 4, 2008, 01:08 PM

Hi, I'm the stepmother of a precious little boy, and need some opinions, ideas, answers, regarding personal items and everything. First, my husband has joint legal custody, but his son's mother refuses to share joint physical custody of their son, although we pretty much have him more than half the time anyway (I'm guessing it's because she doesn't want to give up the amount of child support she gets, which would lower if they both had joint physical custody).

My question is, how do people usually go about doing the exchage with the clothes, shoes, etc when they drop off or pick up the child? We usually try to take him back in whatever we got him wearing, but somehow it's ended up where she has so many clothes of ours because at first we and my husband's parents who would take him back sometimes, would just dresss him in our clothes for him and give her clothes back in a bag, and she never returns anything of ours... so ideas? Opinions? Help!

DoulaLC · Dec 4, 2008, 02:53 PM

How long does he usually stay with you? Does his mother send him with a supply of clothing for his stay? If clothing is an issue, just be sure to wash what he came in and have him return in the same outfit or one of the outfits she sent with him. If she sends him with several outfits, you could always keep one now and then to rebuild your supply at your house and then make sure he goes home in one of those.

You could always ask for some of the clothing to be sent back with his next visit, but if that is not an option, just start keeping better track from now on. If he comes to your house with 3outfits, for example, make sure he goes home with just 3 outfits.

Justwantfair · Dec 4, 2008, 02:58 PM

I would suggest that you just amp up the supply at your house and don't transfer the child back and forth with clothes to pack/keep track of. Whenever possible send him home in outfits that originally came from her house. But one outfit in and one outfit out ought to balance the scales.

You can also keep a log, if there are particular items that you would like returned to your house. Depending on the age of the child, have the child responsible for returning the appropriate item to the appropriate household.