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    GiannaHoran's Avatar
    GiannaHoran Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 23, 2014, 05:57 PM
    Is it okay for a 12 year old and a 17 year old to date?
    First off, I'm the 12 year old, and we're both girls. "You're to young to know your sexuality" 'I've heard it before, I was confused when I was 5 and I knew I was gay when I was 10. Anyway, it's not sexual, we haven't even kissed yet. Our parents don't know, and we don't plan on telling them any time soon. I just want to know if it's like, okay and legal and stuff..
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Apr 23, 2014, 06:03 PM
    You are 12... you don't know 10% of what you think you do... and the 17 year old is a preditor... you share NOTHING together, there is a huge gap in maturity... it is no different if you are gay than if you were not.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,791, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 23, 2014, 06:03 PM
    No, it is not OK for a 17 year old to date a 12 year old. It is not even normal for a 17 year old to even be attracted to a 12 year old. This 17 year old is creepy and a predator
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,696, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 23, 2014, 06:28 PM
    From a legal standpoint your freind can get into very deep trouble and get a label attatched that can last for a lifetime.

    Your still a child. Have fun with it being a child because once it is over it is a whole different world. You dont need to be in any kind of a relationship that may become intimate.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Apr 24, 2014, 05:15 AM
    It is not OK for a 12 yr old to date PERIOD. At 12 you are too young. Dating a 17 yr old is way out of line. You are what is known as jail bait.

    And you do not date without your parent's knowledge and permission. Sneaking around behind your parents back is no way to have a relationship. And If you truly believe its not sexual you are deluding yourself. There is only one real possibility when the ages are what you are and that is even more a probability in a same sex relationship.

    And it is decidedly not legal on many levels.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Apr 24, 2014, 06:38 AM
    Anything you have to keep hidden, puts a dark cloud over everything. Including the motives to do so- it is like admitting it's wrong, just because of your actions to hide it.

    An alcoholic or drug user will go to extremes to hide their activities, and cover up where they've been and what they've been doing, with lies.

    You are in the same boat.

    It is true you are too young (blame mother nature for not allowing you to be an adult in a 12 year old body), to know or understand the scope of dating, let alone, dating behind your parent's backs, probably your friends as well, and any other person that you know will judge you as making a really bad decision to date someone so much older.

    Do you have the courage to even tell your parents you are gay? Or are you hiding that also because it would give away your girlfriend. I suspect that you have to be quite deceptive and you're learning how to be a very dishonest liar, in order to fool everyone that nothing is going on.

    But it will be short lived.

    If you have to hide what you are doing, at age 12, from your parents- you need to give your head a shake here, and at least try to comprehend who benefits from a relationship with a child. It isn't you. It's your partner. That is why we are saying here that it is you who is being manipulated and used, and consequently the decisions you make, involve covering up what you are doing.

    I doubt that you will listen. You will learn the hard way as so many others have before you, that dating at your age, is wrong, for all the reasons already stated. Dating someone on the cusp of adulthood, is even more wrong, in that you are placing yourself in danger, and you aren't old enough to even see that much.

    The law will see this as a person having undo influence over you, and that will not be seen as anything other than predatory- because of your age.

    Before you go any further, stop and think and realize you are heading down a very slippery slope, and no good will come of what you are doing.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,232, Reputation: 10853
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    #7

    Apr 24, 2014, 06:48 AM
    No its not right for a 12 year old to date a 17 year old BEHIND your parents back. Its not okay for a 12 year old to do ANYTHING behind their parents back. What you want to keep doing is both illegal, and dangerous, and when the facts come out, there will be a lot of hell to pay, for you BOTH!!

    You have been warned! Do the right thing while you can.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645
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    #8

    Apr 24, 2014, 06:54 AM
    You are 12 years old. You aren't going to listen to us because we are adults and you think you are ten feet tall and bullet proof. However, the reality is that you are still a child and the "girlfriend" is on the verge of adulthood.

    While you are still too young to comprehend the complexities of this situation, the 17 year old is not, and this is why you are sneaking around behind your parent's back.

    The reality is that if anyone finds out, whether it be your parents, a teacher, or a store clerk finds out, this girl will go to jail. A 17 year old has absolutely no business entertaining a relationship with a child. Yes, you are a child.
    EastCoastGal's Avatar
    EastCoastGal Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 29, 2014, 02:02 AM
    First things first: dating should be confined for when you can emotionally handle it.

    It is legal to engage in a relationship with another female, most state laws only involve male and female (statutory rape), not female and female.

    On another note, if neither of your parents know then neither of you are ready.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #10

    Apr 29, 2014, 04:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastGal View Post
    It is legal to engage in a relationship with another female, most state laws only involve male and female (statutory rape), not female and female.
    Really, can you cite any back up for that. Every statutory rape statute that I have looked at is gender neutral. I know of no laws that govern relationships, all govern sex with minors.
    EastCoastGal's Avatar
    EastCoastGal Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    May 2, 2014, 01:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Really, can you cite any back up for that. Every statutory rape statute that I have looked at is gender neutral. I know of no laws that govern relationships, all govern sex with minors.
    You have to look at each individual state; there might be a case somewhere out there but I can't read everything there is.

    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastGal View Post
    You have to look at each individual state; there might be a case somewhere out there but I can't read everything there is.
    There are also Romeo and Juliet laws, everything to make everyone happy. Eventually.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #12

    May 2, 2014, 03:02 AM
    At 12, if it does go sexual, and we all know it will. That is what the 17 year old is wanting. It is illegal, the 12 year old is still under the age of consent.

    And at 12, parents need to give permission for the dating. The 17 year old could be in serious trouble over this
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #13

    May 2, 2014, 04:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastGal View Post
    You have to look at each individual state; there might be a case somewhere out there but I can't read everything there is.
    \

    Yes you do have to look at each state. But I have looked at a lot of them and everyone I've seen is gender neutral. And the Romeo Juliet clauses are gender neutral. We pride ourselves on the accuracy of the advice we give here. Please don't make statements you can't back up.

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