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dandkmapp · Jul 29, 2007, 11:23 PM

I haven't seen my daughter since she was a year and a half old. What do I say and how do I go about it. I've missed seeing her so much. Especially since I have another daughter with another woman and watching her grow up has made me miss my first one more and more each day. I want to make things right for her and not dramatize her in any way. Her mother has just called me and told me she's been asking questions about me and would maybe want to meet me some day. The only thing is she lives three states away. And it will be very difficult to be dramatize in her life as far as seeing her. What should I do to start this relationship off on the right foot?

poopyqueenrox · Jul 30, 2007, 02:43 AM

Relax when your around her! A tense person makes some people feel uncomfortable. Ask her how she's been doing and tell her you've been missing her heaps. Just go with the flow and don't tell her off or say anything mean

Good luck!!

LearningAsIGo · Jul 30, 2007, 06:01 AM

Go slow, and try to let her lead so you can follow.

If she seems excited, be excited with her.
If she seems nervous, keep some distance but keep the conversation going in a polite way.. warm up slowly
When you talk on the phone before meeting, ask her to bring photos of her life... and you do the same... that will help the conversation flow. It also might help to meet in a place she's most comfortable. Take travel pics, pics of the family she doesn't know, and of your home/city so she feels more familiar with it before she meets it head-on.
Keep it about you and her, then slowly talk about your family at home. A kid her age might resent knowing she has a sister that grew up with you, so you don't want to talk about your other daughter the whole time...

Most importantly, tell her how much you've thought about her and missed her over the years. Even if the situation isn't your fault, apologize to her for missing out.

GOOD LUCK!