Christmas is coming. Typically I meet my ex 500 miles away to swap the kids so they can spend time with me. This only happens twice each year. Once during the summer and once during Christmas.

I am remarried and have 1 child with my new wife. She has an older child from her previous marriage.

Problem #1 - Current wife doesn't think she should have to deal with my kids for more then 2 weeks at a time. Since they only have 1 week off during the Christmas vacation this adds up to 3 total weeks I see them each year. They are very young with the oldest being 8.

Problem #2 - Current wife does not want me to aknowledge my 3rd child with my ex. This was a major problem when I was dating my current wife. She felt I had cheated on her with my ex-wife and got her pregnant. Conception happened 1 week after I met my current wife. Still she will not have anything to do with my 3rd child nor will she accept that I have any kind of relationship with him either.

This year my ex-wife wants me to take all 3 kids. I really want to see my first two and get to know my 3rd child as any parent would and should. I haven't told my current wife just yet but she will absolutely not allow this to happen. My first 2 are welcome to stay in our house (remember, with restrictions) but my 3rd child is supposed to be invisible, non-existent. How can I make this work? I've been very patient and have gone through some very difficult and confusing emotional times.

What should I do?