My step son has been mine since he was three. His mom and dad was never married. She signed joint custody 5 years ago and we have had him ever since. He has never remembered her and only knows me as his mom. She has not seen or talked to him and now she expects to come in ( she lives about 9 hrs away) and visit on thanksgiving. What are the laws according to abandonment. We live in Ky.:(

I really can't speak of the laws in KY, but has your stepson gone back to court to seek full custody? This is assuming that your stepson is still in his son's life. Have you tried to do the same? Has the mother ever visited since she signed the joint custody papers? I'm thinking she probably hasn't done this often, if at all.

This would definitely work for you in family court, and I would hope any judge would see that this child has definitely been abandoned by his mother, after all of this time. That is a horrible thing for a birth mother to do, unless she has put her child up for adoption for reasons that are in the best interests of the child, in some cases. She sure won't have much credibility in court for sure.

Since this child sees you as mommy, that should work in your favour, as long as you haven't been keeping the mother from him, or preventing him from knowing who his birth mother really is.

I really would go the legal route, so you don't have to put up with her sporatic visits, and you have legal full custody. That only confuses the child. I would also look into adoption rights.

I would contact family services, and a lawyer, to see what your rights are, as far as a Thanksgiving visit goes. I sure wouldn't let him be taken out of your eye shot. I'm sure if this mother has abandoned her baby for this long, she is most likely very unstable in other areas. I think I would let her see the child under your supervision though. You don't want him to grow up and think that you stopped his "mother" from visiting him, even though you might have to grind your teeth all the way through, even though you will probably be tempted to give her a good piece of you mind. Just grin and bear it, and count the seconds until she's gone.

You really do need to pursue this in family court though, and get legal documents. I doubt this will happen before Thanksgiving, but you should get the ball rolling, because as far as I understand, it is still on paper that she has joint custody, even though she has quite obviously abandoned her child.

I wish I could tell you about the law of abandonment, but it would only seem logical to me, that 5 yrs would be sufficient grounds for abandonment.