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Hollyster22 · Jul 27, 2009, 04:14 PM

My father's daughter and I were together and I found out that he had a very bad drug problem so I left when she was only 2 months old. We tried to be together again and he left me this time to go back to drugs. I did file for Child Support back in 07. He has always been on the run so child support is unable to locate him and serve the papers. The last coversation I had with him before Christmas of 08. He said that he wants to give his parental rights away so he will be off the hook with child support and I am also going to get married and plan to change my daughters name. Does this qualify for abandonment? He has never called since or had any type of contact. How can I make sure that he can not take her away from me?

JudyKayTee · Jul 27, 2009, 04:27 PM

No, it's not abandonment. When you are in a stable marriage (usually that's legally one year) and your husband wants to adopt her you file the necessary papers and the natural father is served and must consent. Your husband cannot adopt the child without his consent and he cannot adopt if you are not married.

Just to put your mind at ease I see no grounds for him taking her from you unless you are an unfit parent, and that does not appear to be the case from what you have posted. If he wants visitation the Court will probably order it although it might have to be supervised visitiation.

If he were able to surrender his parental rights he would still be liable for support - and that's a bargaining chip for you when you file the adoption papers.

Was he also into drugs before the baby was born?

stevetcg · Jul 27, 2009, 04:31 PM

I assume the first sentence you mean your daughter's father, not your father's daughter.

This is not abandonment and he cannot just sign away his rights. You husband may be able to adopt the child once you are married. Speak with a lawyer about this as the laws vary by state. Many require you be married for a year or more.

As for changing the child's name, this can only be done with the father's consent (or the adoption will also allow this).

He cannot take her away from you because that's now how the law works. You are both equal parents, but since you have been there the whole time and he has not, he loses a lot of his weight in court.

I assume since you have filed for support you also have full custody?

That is how you ensure he cannot just take your daughter away.

s_cianci · Jul 27, 2009, 04:38 PM

Given the circumstances, it's highly unlikely that he could ever take her away from you. He clearly is an unfit father and no court would give him custody. It sounds like the best solution is, after you're married, to have your husband apply to adopt the child. You've already mentioned that the father wishes to "sign away his rights" in the belief that he'd be able to avoid paying child support. If that's the case, then getting his consent shouldn't be too difficult, though you will have to be able to locate him for that to happen. If you can't actually locate him, then you'll have to make a good faith attempt to do so and present evidence of your search to the court. If all that still proves fruitless then the adoption can proceed without his consent after a predetermined waiting period. I'm going to guess 180 days but it could vary.

JudyKayTee · Jul 27, 2009, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

Given the circumstances, it's highly unlikely that he could ever take her away from you. He clearly is an unfit father and no court would give him custody. It sounds like the best solution is, after you're married, to have your husband apply to adopt the child. You've already mentioned that the father wishes to "sign away his rights" in the belief that he'd be able to avoid paying child support. If that's the case, then getting his consent shouldn't be too difficult, though you will have to be able to locate him for that to happen. If you can't actually locate him, then you'll have to make a good faith attempt to do so and present evidence of your search to the court. If all that still proves fruitless then the adoption can proceed without his consent after a predetermined waiting period. I'm going to guess 180 days but it could vary.

Even if all attempts to notify the father fail he STILL must be served notice - this is done by publication in a Court-recognized publication with a minimum subscriber number, upon Court Order.

Which State has a 180 day waiting period?