 |
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 07:47 AM
|
|
How do I get my 21 year old to move out!
My 21 year old step son moved in 7 months ago. My husband found him after not seeing him for almost 20 years. He is rude, disrespectful, lazy, and I'm ready to loose it. He works about 10 hours a week as a busser at a restaurant and spends the rest of his day/night on the computer, or watching T.V. I've told him he needs to move and his response to that is "we'll see about that", "I'm not going anywhere and you'll just have to live with it" or " i'm not going anywhere you can leave" I've been married to my husband for 15 years and we own a home together. We have other children and it is affecting them as well. When I try to talk to my husband about this he gets angry and says he will deal with it his way... which is kissing his butt and allowing him to swear and call me names in front of my other children. He brings things into my home that are unacceptable and sees no problem with it. He says he is an adult and can do what he wants... well... then get your own place! My husband works 60 hours a week and is not home much so I am left dealing with him on my own.
|
|
 |
Junior Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 07:52 AM
|
|
Seriously Shannon... why haven't YOU moved out? Tell your step son to get out.. that's it! If your husband doesn't support you then something is definitely wrong! He doesn't have to live with his dad to see him and apparently doesn't really care for his dad at all if he is treating you that way. Sounds like he has worked your husband over pretty good and is using him in a serious way! Put your foot down honey!
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 08:07 AM
|
|
 Originally Posted by shannon1973
My 21 year old step son moved in 7 months ago. My husband found him after not seeing him for almost 20 years. He is rude, disrespectful, lazy, and i'm ready to loose it. He works about 10 hours a week as a busser at a resturant and spends the rest of his day/night on the computer, or watching T.V. I've told him he needs to move and his responce to that is "we'll see about that", "I'm not going anywhere and you'll just have to live with it" or " i'm not going anywhere you can leave" I've been married to my husband for 15 years and we own a home together. We have other children and it is affecting them as well. When I try to talk to my husband about this he gets angry and says he will deal with it his way...which is kissing his butt and allowing him to swear and call me names in front of my other children. He brings things into my home that are unacceptable and sees no problem with it. He says he is an adult and can do what he wants...well...then get your own place! My husband works 60 hours a week and is not home much so I am left dealing with him on my own.
The only legal way to get him out is to evict him but, because you co own your home, your husband has to be in agreement.
|
|
 |
Expert
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 09:40 AM
|
|
When your husband gets served divorce papers with a idea of how much child support he will be paying, he may decide to do something
There is nothing you an do unless hubby agrees,
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 09:44 AM
|
|
He obviously thinks you owe him something. I would suggest telling your husband either his son moves out or you move out. (Don't really do it of course) but make him think you will so that maybe he will see that you are serious. As for the 21 year old, make him do everything on his own. Ex. Make him wash his own clothes, fix his own dinner and so forth. I hope everything works out for you. My other option that works better than anything in the world is prayer!
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 10:28 AM
|
|
 Originally Posted by aholt03
He obviously thinks you owe him something. I would suggest telling your husband either his son moves out or you move out. (Don't really do it of course) but make him think you will so that maybe he will see that you are serious. As for the 21 year old, make him do everything on his own. Ex. make him wash his own clothes, fix his own dinner and so forth. I hope everything works out for you. My other option that works better than anything in the world is prayer!
I don't like untimatums in a relationship unless you really do mean it, really are ready to follow through.
I think the answer is to talk to the husband. Hopefully he doesn't want to see his wife upset all the time. Hopefully.
|
|
 |
Jobs & Parenting Expert
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 10:36 AM
|
|
Your husband is on a guilt trip because of not knowing his son for so many years. How did they get together again? Where is the son's mother?
Make an appointment with a family counselor and you go alone, if you husband won't go with you. Figure out some goals and the strategies to meet them.
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Jan 30, 2009, 03:07 PM
|
|
 Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Your husband is on a guilt trip because of not knowing his son for so many years. How did they get together again? Where is the son's mother?
Make an appointment with a family counselor and you go alone, if you husband won't go with you. Figure out some goals and the strategies to meet them.
My husband does feel guilty, and Dustin knows it and is playing him. Unfortunately for me, I searched for him and found him. I sent him a plane ticket to come over the summer. I did it for my husband. I didn't think it through before I did it and wanted my husband to have a relationship with his son. When I try to talk to my husband about it he gets angry. He agrees that he should leave, but won't do it and I have asked Dustin to leave and he won't leave. I don't want to leave my home, but I may not have a choice... I cannot take another minute with him. Dustin knows how much his being here is affecting our (me and my husband) relationship and I honestly think he gets a kick out of it.
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Feb 8, 2009, 08:37 PM
|
|
Talk him into joining the marines it will get him out and teach him a little respect
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 8, 2009, 08:51 PM
|
|
How do your other kids feel about this?
If they are, as they should be, more than a little unimpressed with the situation then why not try all of you sitting down and talking to dad. That has to get through to him that this is no small problem and the little ***** has to go!
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
My 18 year old son doesn't want to move.
[ 10 Answers ]
My son turned 18 in January and has never been employed. He has been arrested several times and smokes marijuana every day with his friends and they all come to my house to hang out while I'm at work. My son appears on my lease. My question is, how do I get him to move out be it eviction or what?
I need to move out next year.
[ 5 Answers ]
I am college sophomore going to university in the city. This year I moved in to college housing to live on my own and be closer to school. I live with parents in suburbs which is 25 miles away, and the only way to get there during morning rush hours I by commuter train (on hourly schedule) which...
I can not trust my 13 year old - how do we move on?
[ 7 Answers ]
Myself and my husband are at a loss with our 13 year old daughter. She is always back answering and cheeky. She seems to have no respect for either of us talking to us like dirt at times. I have always ensured she can talk to me about anything which she often does. However I found out recently...
I've lived with my boyfriend 1 year, how long do I have until I have to move?
[ 1 Answers ]
I've lived with my boyfriend in Oregon, for over one year now. We agreed I'd be responsible for buying groceries and some household items, and for house cleaning. He would continue to pay the bills and his mortgage (it is his home). We no longer get along, and I'm looking for a place to move. ...
View more questions
Search
|