Check out some similar questions!

berrymuffin17 · Sep 1, 2011, 02:49 AM

I'm 14 my parnets are both awful. And I can't get along with enither of them even though they are dicovred. My friends mother said I can move in with them. How do I bring this up to my mom? Which is also kicking me out I have a week to leave. And do I get a say in wheather or not I can't live with her family?

joypulv · Sep 1, 2011, 03:04 AM

I'm sorry, but at 14 you have no say in where you live. And your mother can't kick you out by law (please tell us where you live though, because there are differences).

In a way this isn't making a lot of sense, because if your mother is truly giving you a week to leave then why are you afraid to bring up the idea of living with your friend's family? Does she really mean move back in with your father? I have a feeling there is more to this story.

Your friend's parent has to discuss any arrangements with each of your parents, not do all this through you, and some will depend on what the custody arrangement is between your parents. It can be complicated legally, and the schools can be involved if it means attending a different one.

berrymuffin17 · Sep 1, 2011, 03:20 AM

My mom already kicked out my bother which is 16 years old. He moved into my grandparents which only have a two bedroom house. Now my father kicked me out of he's house two years ago. He's wife and I don't mix well. I live in NJ. My mom is a drunk and my family says she's bipolar. I want to be able to get threw high school and go to college. None of this will happened if I stay with my mother. All we do is fight 24-7 even if I keep my mouth shut she still will yell at me. My mother is the kind of person that Won't listen you anything you have to say. So, I really don't know what to do. I just want to move to my friends house and sigh into school.

berrymuffin17 · Sep 1, 2011, 04:27 AM

So, do I just move out?

joypulv · Sep 1, 2011, 04:40 AM

No, your friend's parent or parents need permission from your parents. Don't try to do this yourself. I'm very sorry that your parents can't cope much less be good parents. Is the school the same one you go to now, I assume, because it's your friend's school too? Have your friend invite you over and talk to her mom and ask her to handle it. She (the mom) could get in trouble if it isn't all done legally.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 1, 2011, 04:59 AM

I would be required to answer differently is this was in the "legal" section, since by law your mom has requirements and the family that wants to take you in, has legal duties and liabilities.

But if mom and dad will not keep you and mom is really kicking you out, when she does kick you out, you go to this family for your own safety.

joypulv · Sep 1, 2011, 08:17 AM

Except that I don't hear anything about safety, and once the school finds out, they might get both moms in trouble.

berrymuffin17 · Sep 1, 2011, 09:04 AM

My friend lives almost 30mins away and my mom has never met her sadly. Its going to be my fresman year. And my friend mom is up for meeting my mom. Also my mom never kets me sleep over friends houses, go to birthday partys, or anythign

joypulv · Sep 1, 2011, 09:38 AM

Berry, again this isn't making a lot of sense. Your mother is kicking you out of the house by Sunday, you say, yet she won't let you go anywhere? Do you see how this doesn't add up? Please tell us what exactly your mother said that is so final sounding, or is this just something she says when she's irrational and angry?

berrymuffin17 · Sep 1, 2011, 10:16 PM

Okay so I guess what I sent didn't work?. umm Monday night a bunch of stuff happened and I guess my mom didn't know where I was. My friend had a flat tire and me, my cousin, her boyfriend, and a few friends were all stuck at walmart for a while. And my mom freaked out thinking I was of with a boyfriend or somethhing. So my bother and cousin picked me up and took me home. My mom was drunk when I got there and threw my things on the floor and started SCREAMING in my face saying I'm going to become a whore. Anyway, then my mom said " GET THE F OUT you have a week call your dad"... now my dad already kicked me out wihen I was in 6th grade. And my step brother is a perv. And I don't get alone with my step mom or dad every well. When I lived there I was cutting ( from the age of 10-13). So, yeah I don't know. My grandma said I need space from my mom and that I really should move into a friends house of their parents are okay with it.

joypulv · Sep 2, 2011, 05:54 AM

I suppose that your mother is better in some ways than having a stepbrother who wants to have sex with you. But I do sympathize with you about how awful she is when drunk and accusing too. Why don't you ask for a 3 day weekend at your friend's, pack a little bag, and while there talk to her mother about finding out how to become your legal guardian. Meanwhile see if she can also ask your mom if you can stay another week (assuming you go to the same school as your friend - you keep not answering certain questions here). And another week after that, until this is settled. It's not your job at your age to know what the formal legal process is. It sounds like you don't even know which parent has which kind of custody of you.

Unfortunately even a mean and drunken mother sometimes gets lonely and decides she wants her daughter back, so you may lose, and unless she is doing you harm, you have no choice. If she does, tell the school nurse, who will contact social services. You could have a talk with her anyway to sort of have it in the record in case something even worse happens.