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    Sadness's Avatar
    Sadness Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 3, 2006, 10:49 PM
    My grandchild abuse
    My grandchild will be two very soon my daughter a single mom has a drinking problem and anger issues.tell me what you think I have been helping her take care of him . Pick him up one Sunday about a month ago and the baby sitter said he fell out of the highchair call her right away she was out drinking left message no call back till three hours later drunk the baby had no bumps but little red pop blood vessel all on the face.took him to the er buy myself without her permission the doctor said he had been hit in the face .he was in my care for awhile now he is back with his mom she won't talk to me and can't see my grandchild my heart is very sad because I miss him.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #2

    Jul 4, 2006, 07:45 AM
    Hi, Sadness,
    I am sorry to hear your daughter may be an alcoholic. If she is, it will not get any better... it ALWAYS gets worse, unless she herself, wants help and asks for it.
    I am 64, married 29 yrs, and have a 9 yrs old grandson, with wonderful parents. If I were you, I would call the authorities. You can also go to a Social Services Department, if you have one in your local area. They can guide you to the right people. Child abuse is illegal.
    You need to have an investigation started. It's the only way your daughter might (but not always) realize something is very wrong with her life.
    If you continue trying to help on your own, it means you are an "enabler"; that is someone who keeps enabling their family to keep doing the same things over and over, without the authorities doing anything.
    I do wish you the best, and good luck.
    Sadness's Avatar
    Sadness Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 4, 2006, 08:08 AM
    Thank you for your reply child protected services are along with the police the file claim against her she went to court and the judge awarded my grandson back to her cps is still fighting the claim against her and could go to jury trial in the mean time she has in home care which means consuling three times a week with drug testing she's very angery at me for doing this to her my pray is that she breaks and faces the realilty of it .
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #4

    Jul 4, 2006, 08:42 AM
    You are doing the right thing. How very brave and kind of you too. Continue to pressure for protection for your grandchild whether your daughter sees the light. No child deserves the pain and threat of an alcoholic home. If and when your daughter is ready, there is plenty of help out in the world for her. I would bet she is getting exposure to some of it right now. Stand your ground Sadness and know that its her "disease" that is so angry with you now, not your daughter.

    It can be very difficult being a part of someone's "bottom" if indeed that is what it turns out to be. One day, when she has sobered up, she may look back on this as the best thing that ever happened to her. But there is no way of knowing if she will get sober and so this is a "one day at a time" deal, okay? In the meantime, you need to take care of YOU. How about looking into Al-Anon and trying out a few of their meetings? You will find some wonderful, loving support there from people who have been in your shoes. Look them up in your phone directory and call them. Tell them the same thing you told us. You did that just fine.

    PS - here is their website www.al-anon.alateen.org
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jul 4, 2006, 09:10 AM
    Yes doing what you are doing is abouit all, it is said people with drinking problems don't see the harm they are doing.
    angelynn98's Avatar
    angelynn98 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 14, 2006, 08:37 PM

    I wish you the very best of luck... if I were you... and this is just my opinion... I would try and get custody of your grandchild... both of my parents are alcholics and my 14yr old sister is stuck in the middle... it doesn't get any better and she has been in counseling since she was 10... they just guilt trip her and make her chose sides... GOOD LUCK :)
    aqua@home's Avatar
    aqua@home Posts: 565, Reputation: 107
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    #7

    Jul 15, 2006, 09:28 AM
    I think you are doing the right thing. This child needs someone on their side. Don't give up and make sure you are checking on the authorities all of the time. The squeaky wheel gets the grease you know. No child deserves this. I know it isn't fair for you to have to raise this child but it would be a small sacrifice if you saved him/her a world of hurt if you did. Good luck.

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